


Aiscal

by GerdavR



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic, swtor - Fandom
Genre: Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Kid Fic, but I had this idea, cuz my english isn't as good as it should be, dad quinn, disgustingly sweet fluff, sort of, straight forward writing, with QUINN ffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-06-05 11:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6703282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GerdavR/pseuds/GerdavR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if not only the SW but also Vette would disappear during the KotfE events? Who would look after their three-year old daughter? (Disgustingly sweet 'in your face' fluff - with a little angst - about Quinn trying to raise a twi'lek girl) Cover art by isriana</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Order

**Author's Note:**

> Visit [Isriana](http://isriana.tumblr.com/) and have a look at her awesome art!  
> and here's her [deviantart page](http://isriana.tumblr.com/deviantart)  
> Many thanks to my beta [rum-inspector](http://rum-inspector.tumblr.com/)!

** **

 

**Aiscal**

Quinn had always cherished silence, it was easier to work, easier to think and easier to focus. But since the disastrous defeat in the Wild Space… since the Wrath and Vette had disappeared silence had become distracting. In vain he tried to read the report on the imperial war effort, and after staring at the same line for several minutes he finally activated the holodisplay in the cockpit of the _Fury_.

Quinn watched once again the last transmission from Darth Marr’s flagship before it blew up. Darth Sibock’s figured appeared, he was holding his right side – was his thoracic skeleton broken? Thought Quinn for the fourth time.

“Quinn, if you read this – this is my final order! Take the _Fury_ and get back to Aiscal! Do you hear me? You have to take care of her!”

Vette appeared on the holo, she was grabbing Sibock’s arm. “What are you doing? You can’t trust Ai to _him_! He hates aliens!”

Sibock shook his head, but before he could reply the transmission was cut off.

Quinn leaned back in the captain’s chair and put his fingertips together. He computed the likelihood of Sibock and Vette being dead to be almost 98%. Yet… they had survived almost impossible odds and his calculations had been off more than once. Luckily. Most prominently on the Transponder Station where… Quinn blinked … where Sibock had forgiven him.

He got up and straightened his grey uniform jacket. He felt uneasy. Quinn knew what he had to do, even if they were dead: He had to take care of his lord’s daughter. It was clear what Sibock had asked of him; the usual course of action was to place orphans in imperial orphanages where the children would be raised properly as imperial citizens. Like Quinn himself.

 

But Aiscal was half twi’lek and half human; there was no telling what would happen to her in an imperial orphanage. Quinn’s mouth twitched a little when he thought about it. Why a powerful Sith like Sibock had chosen someone as Vette as his spouse had always been beyond him. He was a powerful Sith who could’ve married an equally powerful Sith – but Sibock defied all expectations and had married a lowly twi’lek. Quinn had been present when Sibock’s parents had called and demanded, no ordered him to reconsider. They threatened to cut all ties to him, but Sibock had only laughed and had ended the holocall. He had never spoken to them again.

Vette had of course been aware of Quinn’s resentment towards her: She didn’t let him near her when she got pregnant. Instead she consulted a physician in Kaas City. Quinn hadn’t objected, he was a combat medic after all and not a gynaecologist. And yet it bugged him that she refused to let him perform the simplest tests during the pregnancy.

After the birth she eyed him with suspicion. Again she made sure that he was kept at distance. Vette had also been wary of Broonmark, but never as much as with him. Pierce had made snide remarks that at least Broonmark hadn’t tried to kill Sibock, even though he was a psychotic and bloodthirsty talz.

There was only one occurrence when Quinn was allowed to even touch the child: Aiscal had contracted a high fever when she was two month old; Sibock had barged into his room in the middle of the night and asked him to come quickly. It was the only time Quinn had ever seen Sibock scared. Although he hadn’t been allowed until then to treat Aiscal, Quinn had read up on children physiology – both human and twi’lek–, he considered it part of his job. While he had been treating the child he had been keenly aware that Vette had been watching his every move as if he would actually hurt the child.

 

Quinn checked once last time the navicomputer – they would arrive in 15 hours and 38 minutes on Dromund Kaas – before he turned the lights off and left the cockpit. As he strode briskly to the med bay he heard Pierce snoring in the crew quarters. Jaesa was probably meditating. Once arrived he downloaded three publications on child care and fourteen on paediatrics. He would care for the child, and he would be thorough as always.

 

 

The rain was battering against the glass of the lift as they silently drove up to Sibock’s penthouse in Kaas City. Pierce, Broonmark and Jaesa had been very quiet all the time from the spaceport to their common apartment. It seemed that they were all deep in thought. Quinn’s thoughts on the other hand raced from one subject to another and he had to force himself to focus on the task at hand: he had to fill out all the necessary paperwork and secure Lord Sibock’s assets as quickly as possible. As soon as a Sith was presumed dead it was usually only a question of time before another Sith took their place and everything they had owned.

As soon as they reached the top, Jaesa quietly said with a throaty voice: “I will check on Ai.”

Quinn checked his chronometer. “She is asleep.” Or at least she should be, he thought as he checked his notes.

Broonmark buzzed in agreement.

“I know,” replied Jaesa and disappeared in the corridor which lead to Ai’s room.

“I’ll hit the next cantina,” mumbled Pierce and let his duffle bag fall on the floor. “I need something to drink after this shitty week.” He stepped back in the lift and pushed impatiently the down button until the doors slid shut.

Broonmark quietly vanished in the training room downstairs and now Quinn was standing alone in the entrance hall. 2V-R8 finally arrived to greet him.

“Captain Quinn! Why didn’t you announce your return? Miss Aiscal will be thrilled if she hears that her parents…”

“They won’t come back,” Quinn harshly interjected. Then he pinched the back of his nose before continuing. He felt nauseous. “At least not now. Don’t tell her anything.”

“Oh my… yes, sir,” the droid replied.

Quinn left the droid without further explanations and hurried in his quarters in the upper level. He quickly let the door slide shut and locked it; then he leaned against the wall and had to control his breathing. The only man he truly trusted and admired… gone. And Sibock had asked him to take care of his child… he couldn’t do it. Burying what was left of his military career for good and become Aiscal's warden, _care for her_. He slowly slid down the wall until he sat on the floor and considered his choices again.

After a few minutes he had calmed down. Quinn got back up again and stepped into the bathroom. He washed his face and straightened his jacket. He went back to his bag and pulled his data pad from it. His moment of doubt was over: He had to stick to his own timetable and do his duty.

 

 

In the morning Quinn got up at six o’clock and did some light reading while drinking his tea in the kitchen. Half an hour later Jaesa appeared, she was wearing black crinkled robes. She looked tired, her eyes were puffy.

She yawned. “I watched Ai sleep yesterday… she looked so small.” She pulled a cup of tea from the replimat. “At one point we have to tell her.”

“We don’t know for certain what has happened,” Quinn said softly. “Remember Quesh? They came back…”

“But we have to tell her _something_.”

“We tell her the truth – her parents are on a mission.”

Jaesa frowned. “And for how long?”

Quinn stared at her. “Until they come back.”

She put a spoonful of honey in her tea and stirred it. “We have to stick together – now more than ever. We have to take care of Ai.”

Quinn stared at her disbelievingly. Did she actually believe that? Finally he said: “We will split up eventually.”

She stopped stirring. “What?”

“Look at us… you are more Jedi than Sith – even I can see that. Pierce is a soldier who will eventually be assigned elsewhere and Broonmark, well, is Broonmark.”

Jaesa slammed her cup on the counter. “Bullshit! We will look after Ai! All of us!”

“You heard Lord Sibock’s message, Lord Willsaam, he ordered me to take care of his daughter and I…”

“You mean his and Vette’s daughter,” interrupted Jaesa hotly.

“… and I am honour bound to obey that order. I’ve already undertaken the necessary steps to ensure that I will be in the position to do that.”

“What are you talking about?”

Quinn ran a hand through his hair. “They’re rebuilding Imperial Intelligence – I requested a transfer to Imperial Intelligence headquarters in the citadel here in Kaas City as analyst. If I’m accepted I won’t be reassigned anymore and thus providing Aiscal with a stable environment. Studies suggest that a stable environment is beneficial to the cognitive development of a child.”

“… you have already thought this through?” asked Jaesa while picking up her cup again and taking a sip.

“Of course, unlike Lieutenant Pierce who is wasting his time and his money in a cantina I actually did my _duty_ ,” Quinn arrogantly replied.

“Everybody reacts differently to loss, Quinn. I meditated – would you say that’s a waste of time too?”

Quinn hesitated. “No… my lord, of course not. As a force-user it’s of course your prerogative…”

“I already told you more than once to call me Jaesa. And my way of coping with what happened is in no way superior than getting drunk in a sleazy cantina.”

Quinn wasn’t sure how to answer and remained silent. He took a sip of tea and waited for her to continue.

Jaesa smiled sadly. “I know that it’s going to be hard, but we still can try to stick together… as long as possible.”

Quinn didn’t contradict her.

 

 

Just as Quinn finished reprogramming the replimat with new meals whose nutritional value were appropriate for a three-year old he heard small and fast footsteps approaching. He closed the interface and turned around.

A light blue skinned girl stepped into the kitchen. Her lekkus reached down to her shoulders and were covered in dark blue markings. Aiscal was rubbing sleepily at her eyes. She still wore her pyjamas, it had unrealistic drawn, minimised nexu cubs printed on it, Quinn registered. He also saw that she wasn’t wearing socks on her tiny feet. She had dark brown eyes, probably from her father since Vette had purple eyes – but Quinn couldn’t be sure, Sibock had, like all dark side force-users, bright orange eyes. She stared at Quinn as if she didn’t remember who he was.

He clasped his hands behind his back. “Aiscal put on socks – you will catch a cold,” said Quinn in a stern voice.

“Malavai, you’re back!” She looked around, getting visibly excited. “Where are mummy and daddy?”

Quinn cleared his throat, relieved that she did remember him. “Your father and your mother are on a mission.”

Aiscal seemed disappointed. “When will they come home?”

“After the mission is finished.”

“Okay,” she said slowly and began to pull at her pyjama until it was stretched thin.

“Go get some socks, child. The floor is cold,” Quinn repeated.

“Okay.” Aiscal let go of her pyjama and ran back into her room. Seconds later he appeared again, still bare-footed but with a pair of purple socks in her hand. Proudly she showed them to Quinn.

“Yes, very nice – now put them on,” Quinn said disinterestedly while turning to the replimat to get the child’s breakfast.

He heard how she sat on the floor and how fabric rustled. Quinn pulled porridge from the replimat, added some fresh berries from the refrigerator and put it on the table. “Eat your breakfast.”

Aiscal rushed to the table in the middle of the kitchen and climbed on one of the chairs. Surprised she stared at the porridge.

“Where is my breakfast?”

Quinn crossed his arms. “It’s right in front of you.” His glance fell on her feet: the socks were only halfway pulled on the feet. He decided to ignore it.

“But I always eat red flakes for breakfast,” she looked disappointed.

“Porridge is healthier, your cereal contained too much sugar,” Quinn replied.

She pouted. “I don’t like it, I want red flakes.”

“You haven’t even tasted it,” Quinn said impatiently. It seemed that the child was as stubborn as her mother.

In this moment Jaesa stepped again into the kitchen. She let her gaze wander from Quinn to Aiscal and exclaimed: “Oh, is that porridge? Can I have a bite, Ai?”

Aiscal was taken aback, she thought for a moment before answering. “Yes.”

Jaesa sat down next to her and put a spoonful of porridge in her mouth. “Mmmm, that’s really good.”

Aiscal looked sceptical, but when Jaesa was about to shove another spoonful in her mouth, she quickly grabbed the bowl with porridge. “That’s mine!”

Jaesa handed her the spoon and Aiscal began to eat. At first she chewed slowly and had a contemplative expression on her face, but then she began to eat in a quicker pace.

Jaesa leaned back in her chair and gave Quinn a triumphant smile. He made a mental note that reverse psychology was apparently indeed working on children.


	2. The Duty

In the afternoon Quinn received a message from Imperial Intelligence. They had accepted his application – Quinn wasn’t surprised, his analytical skills had always been exceptional. Everything in his military file suggested that he would be successful as analyst. They had of course ran an extensive background check on him and everybody around him. But he had nothing to hide – being the warden of Aiscal wasn’t going to be a problem as Imperial Intelligence had a reputation for being alien-friendly, at least compared to other imperial institutions.

He was sitting at his desk in his room and was about to type an suitable answer to his new employer when the door slid open and revealed Aiscal who was holding some sort of stuffed animal.

Quinn sighed and chose to ignore her. He assumed that she would leave after a while.

Aiscal stepped into the room and looked with wonderment at the dark furniture, and the paintings at the walls. Finally she stepped next to him and peeked at his data pad.

“What are you doing?”

“Writing an important message. Go play with 2V.”

“He’s recharging and can’t play with me.” She stepped closer and attempted to climb on his lap.

Quinn was caught by surprise and warded her awkwardly off. “I already told you that I don’t have time. Lord Willsaam will play with you.”

A loud noise from the hallway made Aiscal suddenly lose interest in Quinn. “Mummy?” she yelled and ran out of the room.

Quinn assumed that it was Pierce – finally returning from his cantina tour. He quickly got up and followed Aiscal. Perhaps that oaf would be stupid enough to tell the child about her parents.

He had been right, Pierce was slowly walking towards his room when Aiscal cried out: “Oh… it’s only you, Pierce.” She turned to face Quinn. “It’s not mummy.” Aiscal sounded sad.

“It that the way to greet your favourite uncle, you little worm?” said Pierce with a loop-sided grin.

Quinn frowned at him; he looked like hell but at least it seemed that he wasn’t drunk anymore.

Aiscal started laughing and ran towards Pierce, who grabbed her and threw her up in the air. Quinn’s breath faltered for a moment, but Pierce caught her with ease and gave her a peck on the forehead before putting her down on the floor.

Aiscal jumped up and down. “Again! Higher!”

Pierce grinned and obliged by throwing her up in the air a few times. Finally he groaned: “That’s it for now, I’m tired. How about you play with your soldiers a while?”

Aiscal grinned and ran away, probably back to her room to get her toy soldiers.

“We told her that Lord Sibock and Vette are still on a mission,” said Quinn quietly.

Pierce wiped his face with his right hand. “It’s true, at least on some level. Can’t talk now, got to cure my hang-over.” With that he turned around and continued his way to his quarters.

 

 

The following days were quiet, aside from Aiscal’s – at least in Quinn’s opinion – unusual need for company. He observed her and concluded that she was uneasy because her parents were missing. Indeed she did often ask about their whereabouts, but was easily distracted.

Quinn also noticed that Jaesa and Pierce were close to her and that she was a little scared of Broonmark. Aiscal often visited Quinn in his room, he assumed that she was curious about him – probably because Vette had warned her to stay away from him.

Once he caught her following him and hiding behind furniture as soon as he turned to look. Quinn ignored her as best as he could, and proceeded to the balcony to get fresh air. As usually he had a cup of tea with him, he took a nip and inhaled deeply. Quinn enjoyed the humid, cool air and the magnificent view on Kaas City. Everything was quiet and in order, as it should be. Light rain was falling from the sky.

A rustling from one of the plants on the balcony told him that Aiscal had followed him outside.

“Go back inside, child.” Quinn said without turning around.

Small steps closed in on him. Quinn took another nip and looked down. Aiscal stood next to him and craned her neck to look up to him. “What are you drinking? Tea?”

“Yes, now go back inside.”

“Do you have biscuits?”

“No,” Quinn curtly replied.

Before she could inquire any further Quinn gulped his tea down and headed back inside. When he didn’t hear Aiscal following him he turned around. She was still standing on the same spot as before, rubbing her small hands together and staring in the distance as if she was in deep thought.

She seemed alone, in a sense she truly was. Quinn regretted his harshness.

He attempted to smile and said: “Come on, I’ll give you biscuits – but only a few, it’s soon dinner time.”

Aiscal jerked her head around and laughed. She quickly walked to him. Aiscal grabbed his hand and together they went in the kitchen where Quinn put three small biscuits on a small plate and handed it to her.

She stuffed one biscuit in her mouth and spoke with a full mouth: “Mummy said you’re mean, but I think you’re nice.” Aiscal shuffled back into her room.

 

 

Broonmark left two months later, he decided to hunt on Illum as soon as he heard that the Republic was deploying talz on the ice planet. Quinn was relieved – Broonmark hadn’t threatened any of them, but he always felt that Broonmark was a ticking time bomb.

Quinn registered that Jaesa and – surprisingly enough – Pierce were still spending a lot of time with the child. He realised that he might had misjudged Pierce as a simple-minded brute as he watched him having ‘tea’ with Aiscal and a various collection of her stuffed animals. It needed some getting used to to see a man who was responsible for more victims than the tarisian flu to play make-believe with a little girl. Aiscal adored Pierce and loved to climb over him; Pierce also seemed to enjoy carrying her around.

His new work at Imperial Intelligence consumed most of Quinn’s time, when he came home in the evening – or in the morning after a double shift – he usually found Jaesa or Pierce playing with Aiscal. He quietly disappeared in his room and continued his work for several hours, he only interrupted it to make sure that Aiscal got the planned meals on time.

 

Age-appropriate, as Quinn noted in his weekly progress report, Aiscal had started to imitate Pierce and Jaesa. Sometimes Aiscal would sit quietly with tightly squinted eyes in the living room and when he asked what she was doing she loudly exclaimed that she was meditating.

After work he once found her kneeling on the chair at his desk. Quinn curiously drew nearer, she was obviously drawing something.

“Aiscal…”

“Not now, Malavai,” Aiscal frowned at him, “I have to finish important work.” She lowered her head again and furiously continued colouring her drawing.

Quinn had to hold back a smile, her usual mix of a republican and imperial accent was missing – she had quite skilfully imitated his spruce Dromund-Kaas-accent. In a strange way it flattered him that she was imitating him and yet he was confused on how to react. He slowly pulled a data pad from his bag and began to search for the appropriate response. But the hastily consulted studies didn’t provide a sufficient answer.

After a few moments of consideration Quinn pulled another chair up to the desk and began to work on his own assignments until Aiscal tired of her imitation game and left. She let all crayons and her drawings on Quinn’s desk. Usually he would’ve reminded her to clean up before she left, but he was curious to see what she had drawn and that way he could also file her drawings for his report. With a frown he registered that his usually spotlessly clean desk had been smeared by Aiscals crayons. Quinn quickly flicked through the leaves; he couldn’t discern what the motifs were. Wild shapes and colours were doodled seemingly random on the paper. A quick search on the holonet revealed that it was not a sign of cognitive deficit but perfectly normal for a child of her age. He was relieved and made a note for his report.

 

 

Pierce had shown an impressive amount of self-control and restraint; he even took a job at the Imperial Outreach Bureau. But it became quickly clear that Pierce wasn’t cut out for paper work – he was a man of action. After the fifth dispute with his new boss he resigned.

Quinn met him one morning in the kitchen, Pierce looked as if he had been up all night. Quinn didn’t smell any alcohol on him. So he hadn’t been on a cantina tour?

Pierce was sitting at the table typing something in a data pad. Quinn took a yoghurt from the fridge, grabbed a spoon and was about to leave.

“I really tried,” growled Pierce.

Quinn slowly turned to face Pierce.

Pierce looked up from his data pad. “Had I stayed I would’ve smashed the colonel’s head in eventually. Of all the incompetent morons in the galaxy…” He smashed his fist on the table. “…by the stars! Even you aren’t that narrow-minded!”

“Thank you,” replied Quinn dryly. He opened the yoghurt’s lid and threw it in the trash. Then he sat down across from Pierce who was staring at him with an annoyed expression on his face.

“Not everyone is a mindless bootlick for fuck’s sake!” continued Pierce, his usual booming voice becoming suddenly quiet.

“I’m not a mindless bootlick!” snapped Quinn.

Pierce grinned. “For once I wasn’t even talking about you, you twerp.”

Quinn felt heat crawl up his cheeks. He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t…”

“Shut your trap and listen to me,” Pierce said in a low voice. “I applied for a new black-ops-division. It won’t be long and I’m gone to some force-forsaken planet in the outer rim or even to Zakuul if I’m lucky.”

Pierce leaned slightly forward. “I really thought I could pull myself together for Ai – I actually love that little worm. But sometimes it’s just not enough. I’m fucking miserable in this fucking city.”

“You are as eloquent as ever,” remarked Quinn and began to eat his yoghurt.

“Could you not be your annoying self for once? I’m trying to tell you something important – so listen up, you jerk!” Pierce growled.

Quinn kept eating his yoghurt.

Pierce wiped across his face and sighed. “I thought I would be able to stick to Jaesa’s plan, y’know, taking care of Ai – waiting for the boss and Vette to come back. Turns out I can’t.”

Quinn stopped eating, glanced at the man in front of him and was surprised to realise that he wasn’t content to hear that Pierce would leave. Pierce had provided a large portion of interaction needed by the child. And he even was good at it.

“I know that we have your differences, Lieut… Pierce.” Quinn leaned back in his chair. “I regret that you won’t be able to assist us anymore with Aiscal; I understand however your decision.”

“I bet you do… it must bug you that you are stuck here with some alien kid, doesn’t it?” Pierce didn’t even sound malicious, only weary.

“Service is its own reward,” replied Quinn coolly and hoped that Pierce would drop the subject. This was not a discussion he was prepared to have.

“If you say so.” Pierce stood up and left.

 

 

Pierce’s good-bye from Aiscal didn’t go well. Although he had told her a couple of days before he actually left, she wasn’t able to process that her favourite uncle wouldn’t go ‘on a mission’.

Pierce was standing in front of the lift, his duffle bag in one hand and a purple stuffed animal in the other. He knelt down and gave it to Aiscal. Jaesa was standing next to the girl, softly stroking her head. Quinn stood further back and observed the departure.

“This is a Vorantiki, it’s one of the fiercest beasts on Voss. I though you would like it,” said Pierce and pushed it into Aiscal’s hands.

She grabbed it and pressed it to her chest. “Don’t you want to play with it?”

Pierce laughed out loud. “No, I’ve got my own toys to play with. Give me a kiss, little worm.”

He bent down an offered his cheek. She gave him a peck.

Pierce hugged her. “See you.”

Aiscal watched seemingly calm as Pierce stepped in the lift. But before the lift doors slid shut she began to cry and ran away before Jaesa could catch her.

Quinn tried to remain calm and cleared his throat. “She’s too focussed on us, it would be age-appropriate to introduce her to other children.”

Jaesa shot him a nasty look. “By the force, don’t you have a heart? This isn’t the time to confuse her even further.”

“You think I’m indifferent? Quite the opposite – she will be better off if her social skills would develop accordingly!” he forcefully replied. How dared she to question his commitment?

Jaesa was visibly surprised at his outburst. She quickly composed herself. “We will discuss this later. We need to check on Ai.”

 

It took them almost an hour to calm down Aiscal, she was throwing tantrums and cried until she had a hic-up. Quinn had witnessed several times as Aiscal had been upset, but this was definitely the worst. He stood helplessly by as Jaesa hugged and caressed her and told her that Pierce would call often.

Finally Aiscal stopped crying.

“Would you like to go to the zoo?” asked Jaesa and dried Aiscals tear strained eyes with the hem of her robe.

Aiscal nodded and sniffled.

Jaesa smiled. “Malavai will take you, I’ll help you to dress.”

Quinn was about to mouth an objection – he had work to do! But Jaesa anticipated his unwillingness, got up and stepped close to him.

“Pierce used to take her outside – I can’t, I’m a supposed to be a Sith and can’t be seen with an alien child,” she whispered.

“They wouldn’t dare to question a Sith…” Quinn hastily said. Strangely enough the thought of being seen in public with Aiscal displeased him more than he had thought.

“We both know that I’ve pretended to be a Sith. I wouldn’t pass close inspection – force-users can sense that I’m not nearly dark enough. And don’t you dare to suggest 2V! Ai is still upset and needs and actual living being with her.”

Quinn hesitated and ran his hand through his hair. “What if she starts crying again? I don’t know how to calm her down.”

“Geez, just do what I did,” Jaesa rolled her eyes at him. She put her hands on her hip. “Don’t make me force-persuade you.”

Quinn took a small step back and straightened his grey intelligence uniform. “If you think that’s the best use of me.” He turned to get his greatcoat.

 

 

The zoo of Kaas City was in the northern outskirts of the town. It took them about an hour to ride the tram, the human passengers in the tram eyed Aiscal and Quinn with cold stares. Aiscal of course didn’t take notice, she was too excited about their trip and constantly asked questions.

“What kind of building is this?”

Quinn quickly looked up from his data pad. “It’s the citadel, the seat of Imperial Intelligence and the seat of the Dark Council.”

“How fast are we driving?”

“About 39,5 kilometres per hour.”

Aiscal climbed on the seat next to him and pressed her head against the window. “Why is it raining?”

Quinn continued reading and said slowly: “Air contains water vapour and the amount of water in a given mass of dry air, known as the mixing ratio, is measured in grams of water per kilogram of dry air…” He interrupted himself and looked up from the data pad. Aiscal was looking at him in expectation with her big brown eyes. “Do you remember when you took a hot bath two days ago?”

Aiscal nodded.

“There were small water drops running down from the wall in the bathroom. It’s the same principle outside. When water becomes warm enough, it evaporates as vapour into the air. But when a mass of air quickly cools to its saturation point, the water vapour condenses into clusters of tiny water droplets and frozen water crystals.” He showed her a picture of a water crystal on his data pad. “Over time, the droplets and crystals make up a cloud. When water droplets grow heavy enough, gravity pulls them down as raindrops and it starts to rain.”

Aiscal looked a while longer at the water crystal, and traced its shape with a finger. Quinn sighed, he had tried to explain it to her in an easy way, but judging from her puzzled look she probably didn’t understand it.

After a while she continued her questions, Quinn answered them patiently and toughly as possible.

 

At the zoo they first went to the predator building; the rest of the zoo was outside and displayed mostly local fauna. Aiscal ran from animal to animal and asked to be lifted up so that she could see better. Reluctantly Quinn obliged since the handrail was indeed too high for a three-year old. He let her climb on his back and carried her around lest he hadn’t to pick her up all the time and put her down again.

At the nexu cage Aiscal asked the most questions, she especially adored these feline predators. She had several stuffed nexu and her favourite pyjama was the one with nexu cubs on it. After hearing about the biological specifics of the nexu she eagerly asked:

“Can I pet one?”

Quinn glanced at the vicious looking beasts with their sharp teeth and claws and briefly wondered why in the galaxy somebody would think that one could pet them. Perhaps she was her father’s daughter after all? For a quick moment he mused on the possibility that Aiscal was force-sensitive and would become a Sith. It was a strange thought, she was a cheerful and trusting child… he couldn’t picture her as a Sith.

“Can I pet one?” asked Aiscal again.

“Yes, let her pet a nexu and be done with it,” hissed a female voice from behind.

Quinn was alarmed at the tone and turned to face the speaker. It was an elderly light skinned human woman who was holding a small boy’s hand – probably her grandson.

“Beg your pardon?” inquired Quinn coldly.

“To think that you would publicly show off your bastard – the gall of some people!”

“She’s not my child,” Quinn hotly replied.

“Yes, that’s very likely,” sneered the old woman and slowly began to walk away, muttering something under her breath. She yanked her grandson with her.

“What’s a bastard?” asked Aiscal with the same zeal she had asked about the nexu before.

“An illegitimate child,” Quinn automatically answered. Instantly he regretted it and added: “Uh, she thought that your parents… well, that they were not married… let’s not think about that, Aiscal. And no, you can’t pet nexu, they’re wild animals.”

 

 

They finished their tour through the predator section. Quinn glanced at his chronometer and decided that Aiscal needed a break and a snack. They sat down on a bench and he handed her juice and a fruit salad 2V had prepared.

His thoughts returned to the old woman and he glanced at Aiscal who was eagerly eating her salad. Quinn suddenly felt unwell. Some old hag had called Aiscal a bastard and he hadn’t defended her – he just told her that he wasn’t the father. He should have revealed that she was a mighty Sith’s daughter! Or at least that he himself was working for Intelligence and threatened her so she wouldn’t dare…

He wiped across his face with his hands. Quinn knew the truth, he hadn’t said anything because he actually understood why the old woman had been indignant… and secretly he agreed. Hadn’t he struggled to understand why a Sith would marry an alien? And hadn’t he always made snide comments about Vette even though she had been a real asset in all their missions? And finally hadn’t he actually been ashamed to be seen with Aiscal in public?

He glanced at her, she was sitting so close to him that the tips of her right lekku made contact with his arm. She was so trusting and small… Sibock had told him to take care of this sweet, helpless child and he couldn’t even… Quinn couldn’t finish the thought. Angrily he rubbed his temple. All his talk about efficiency and logic and how he was above petty emotions had been bullshit – he was nothing but a bigoted xenophobe. Quinn sighed. How was he supposed to…

“Do you want some?” Aiscal’s question derailed his train of thought.

Quinn’s sight fell on the child next to him, her mouth and her cheeks were smeared with fruit juice and she was offering him her box with a few left-over pieces of fruit.

He felt an iron grip around his heart. “No, thank you.”

Quinn watched as she finished her snack and pulled a napkin from his bag. He awkwardly cleaned Aiscal’s face.

She beamed at him and he felt a lump in his throat.

“Let’s go – we haven’t seen the herbivores yet,” Quinn said with a throaty voice.


	3. The FEELS

Months passed by, Aiscal eventually stopped asking about Pierce and even her inquires after her parents decreased. In this time Quinn registered a creeping change in Jaesa, she was meditating more and became close-lipped. Of course they had never been close and they hardly spoke about something else than Aiscal, but it still seemed that she had become more distant. Not towards the girl, but towards him.  
Before she had gone out, visited the Sith temples and consulted holocrons. Once she had even travelled to the Dark Temple. In the past weeks she hardly left the apartment anymore. Even a force-blind could sense that something was afoot.  
One evening, after Jaesa had read Aiscal a good-night story Quinn waited for her in the hallway.  
“Jaesa, might I have a word?”  
She smiled at him, but the smile it didn’t reach her eyes. “Certainly, I’ll get us a cup of tea and we can talk in the living room.”  
Once they had settled down on the couch, Jaesa put down her hood and asked: “Well?”  
Quinn folded his arms. “It apparent that you are brooding about something and it concerns me. I won’t intrude into your private thoughts but I’d like to know if your… struggle is going to affect Aiscal.” He picked up his cup and took a sip.  
“Are you asking as an Intelligence officer or as a parent?”  
Quinn almost chocked on his tea. He coughed. “Neither actually, I didn’t report your questionable allegiance before and I won’t do it now. And I’m not a… I’m her warden.”  
Jaesa didn’t reply.  
Quinn waited for a few moments before he continued in a low, calmer voice. “Have you ever wondered why Darth Sibock ordered me to take care of Aiscal?”  
“As a matter of fact I have,” Jaesa got up from the couch and stepped in front of the panorama windows. For once it wasn’t raining. “I used to think that he did it because you were his second in command; I used to think that he meant for all of us to take care of her and that you were the only one had had to be ordered to do so.” She turned and leaned with her back against the glass.  
“And what do you think now?” inquired Quinn.  
“Now I think that you were right when you predicted that we would split up. And I’m beginning to understand that you’re the only one of us who is able to stay put.”  
He felt how his hands began to shake slightly. He put the cup quickly on the glass table in front of him and folded his hands to hide his tremor. Quinn was nervous despite that he had anticipated that this day would come. It was a very unfamiliar feeling.  
“There were a lot of different personalities in our crew,” he said, at least his voice was as steady as always. “The only common denominator was Darth Sibock. You, Pierce, Vette and Broonmark had always very different and strong agendas and motivations. The crew was bound to disband once Sibock was gone.”  
Jaesa strode back to the couch and sat down. “Yeah, it seems that way, doesn’t it?”  
Quinn registered with relief that his hands weren’t shaking anymore and he picked up his cup of tea. “I take it that you have some sort of philosophical dilemma?”  
“So to speak. I’m neither a Jedi nor a Sith. I’ve read of grey Jedi… I think I have to seek them out and decide my future path. If I remain here… among the Sith… it will be only a question of time until I slip up.”  
Quinn knew that Jaesa was right, at least to a certain point. But at the same time he truly wished that she would stay – the prospect of being responsible for Aiscal all by himself was scary.  
“I can feel your unease, Quinn,” said Jaesa with a sad smile. “But I’ve thought about it and I honestly think that she should stay with you here in Kaas City. Ai will be safe here.”  
Before he could stop himself Quinn blurted out: “What about her emotional well-being? I’ve read that children need affection…”  
“I’ve confidence in you, Malavai,” interjected Jaesa.  
“You shouldn’t have!” replied Quinn hotly. “You don’t understand, back at the zoo… there was this xenophobe woman and I didn’t defend Aiscal. I was only worried about my reputation!”  
“I know that you truly care about her, I’ve seen it. Whatever had happened at the zoo, you’re regretting it. You might not believe it, but you’re a very gentle and kind to Ai – in your own way.”  
“But…”  
“I have already made my decision. It wasn’t easy – in fact it was the toughest decision I had to make after choosing either Sibock or Nomen Karr. But we have to face the truth: Sibock and Vette may never come back. I can’t let the years pass by and do nothing, I have to find my way.”  
Quinn pulled himself together; there was nothing he could do. “I see.”

 

Jaesa gently prepared Aiscal for her departure. She even gave her her holofrequency and a holocomm device and promised to call every at least once a week. They practiced the use of the holocomm by calling each other while being in another room.  
At the day of her departure Jaesa insisted that Quinn held her hand lest Aiscal wouldn’t feel alone. Quinn obliged although he felt that it was unnecessary given the through preparation.  
Jaesa sat down on the floor so that she was on eye level with Aiscal and pulled a gift wrapped in colourful paper from her travelling bag.  
“This is for you, Ai. You know, I was once a handmaiden for a noblewoman – but I certainly did never make something as nice for her as for you.”  
Aiscal quickly ripped the gift open; the box contained a knitted blue cap with a matching scarf. She beamed and immediately wrapped the scarf around her neck, but she struggled with the cap – it proved difficult for her to put her lekkus through the appropriate holes in the cap. Quinn quickly knelt down and together with Jaesa they helped Aiscal to put the cap on.  
“Thank you!” Aiscal laughed and Jaesa’s departure was momentary forgotten.  
Jaesa nodded at Quinn and he took hold of Aiscal’s hand once again.  
“Good-bye, Ai. I will call you as soon as I’m on Nar Shaddaa.” She kissed Aiscal on her cheek and hugged her. Then she quickly got up and blinked a few times.  
“Quinn, I will contact you too.”  
“Good travels,” Quinn stiffly said. His grip around Aiscal’s hand became slightly harder.  
“Bye Jaesa!” squealed Aiscal and waved at her.  
Jaesa stepped into the turbo-lift and seconds later she was out of their sight.  
“How about some tea and biscuits?” asked Quinn hesitantly, he still expected a similar reaction like back then when Pierce had left.  
“Okay,” replied Aiscal and she lifted her free arm into the air to indicate that she wanted to be carried.  
Quinn picked her up and carried her into the kitchen where he put her down and pulled two cups of tea from the replimat. As usual he also put a small plate with three biscuits on the table.  
Aiscal was still wearing the cap and the scarf, Quinn suspected that she was hot, but he didn’t ask her to remove them. His sight fell on Aiscal’s feet; her socks were only halfway pulled up. Without further thought Quinn knelt down and pulled the socks up.

 

In the evening he put her in bed for the first time. Up until now it had been Pierce and later Jaesa who had performed the task. He was surprised to find her already in bed when he arrived.  
“Have you brushed your teeth?”  
“Yes!” Aiscal exclaimed and looked at him expectantly. “And I want to hear the story about the Sith and the dragon.”  
Quinn now remembered that Jaesa had rewarded Aiscal for being ready for bed with a bed-time story.  
“Of course.” He went to the small bookcase next to her bed and was confused as he saw that none of the books had the words “Sith” or “dragon” in their title. “Which one is it?”  
“The red one.”  
Quinn took it and glanced at the title: “The Knight and the Beast of the Mountains”.  
He sat down on the edge of Aiscal’s bed and took her into his arm so that she could see the pictures. She snuggled against his chest. It was a rather short story about a knight who set out to destroy some kind of wild animal that threatened her kingdom – in the end she triumphantly returned to her castle. Aiscal squealed happily when the knight even rewarded her trusty zeldrate with a fine piece of meat at the end. Together with Quinn she said the last words of the heroine: “I’m already looking forward to our next adventure.”  
“I’m going to be a Sith too!” Aiscal exclaimed while Quinn put the book back in the shelf. “Of course you will,” confirmed Quinn with a little smile. He put her favourite toy, a small stuffed nexu next to her and tucked her up. Looking at her made him pensive, she could indeed become a Sith if she was force-sensitive. It was his duty to the Empire to send her to Korriban and yet… Would’ve Sibock send her to the Sith Academy?  
“Good night, Aiscal.” He hesitantly stooped down and gave her a kiss on the forehead.  
“G’night!” she replied so briskly that Quinn doubted that she would sleep any time soon. He put the lights off and returned to his room; he had still to finish his weekly report on Aiscal’s development. As soon as he had finished it, he sent it as always to Sibock’s and Vette’s holocomm frequencies, he even attached some holopics of Aiscal he had taken a few days ago when they had visited the children’s section of the Imperial Heritage museum.

 

The day came when Quinn brought her to day care; according to most literature it was after all important to socialise children at an early age. And leaving her with 2V all day wasn’t something he was comfortable with – as well programmed the droid was, he was no replacement for a living being, at least not in the long-term.  
There was no lack of decent day-care institutions in Kaas City since the Empire wanted to encourage its soldiers and servants to return to service as quickly as possible. Quinn checked the one’s nearest to the citadel so that he could pick her up after work. It seemed almost impossible to find a day care with aliens – as expected it turned out that all children were either pure-blood sith or humans.  
Finally he chose the one whose administrator made the most organised impression. Quinn planned the day he would drop off Aiscal for the first time as meticulously as Grand Moff Kilran had planned the invasion of Coruscant. He devised several stratagems on how to react if Aiscal was throwing a tantrum. And he repeatedly hinted to the kindergarten teacher in advance that Aiscal’s father was a powerful Sith and that he himself was working Imperial Intelligence – usually even one of these connections guaranteed respect among Imperials, but Quinn took no chances.  
In the morning of the designated day Quinn double-checked Aiscal’s bag – her favourite stuffed animal, Jaesa’s cap and scarf in case that she got cold as well as her favourite snack had been packed. Aiscal had been excited at first but as soon as they entered the day care she became increasingly scared. She held Quinn’s hand with all her might and hid behind him when the kindergarten teacher asked her name.  
The teacher smiled at him. “It’s not unusual that the children are reluctant, Captain Quinn.”  
“I’m aware,” replied Quinn curtly, oddly enough he felt even more nervous than before.  
He knelt down and took Aiscal’s hands into his. “Ai, I will be back to pick you up. You can stay here.”  
“I want to go home,” said Aiscal on the verge of tears.  
Seeing the usually blithely girl so unhappy almost made Quinn rethink his plans, but he steeled himself. “Remember when you said that you don’t like porridge? But in the end you did like it, right?”  
Aiscal sniffled and nodded.  
Quinn stood up and was about to leave when Aiscal lunged forward and grasped his leg.  
“Don’t go on a mission!” she cried.  
Quinn was at first flabbergasted but then he gently freed himself from her embrace and picked her up. She buried her face in his neck, wetting the collar of his coat with her tears.  
“I’m not going on a mission – I’m just going to work. I promise I will be back in the after-noon.” Quinn softly said.  
“Perhaps it would help if she had something from you?” suggested the kindergarten teacher. “Something to hold onto until you come back?”  
Quinn frantically tried to think of something but he didn’t carry any unnecessary items with him… but the citadel wasn’t far… Quinn put Aiscal down and took his greatcoat off and put it on Aiscals’s shoulders – it was so large that she almost disappeared in it. She seemed to calm down a little.  
Quinn put his hand on her head and stroked her head somewhat awkwardly. “I will be back, I promise.” Then he turned and quickly left before he changed his mind about taking her home.

 

He arrived, as calculated, right on time at the day care centre. It had been cool without his coat, but it had been tolerable. He was actually relieved, although he wasn’t sure why, to see Aiscal again – she was still playing with a dark-skinned human boy. She was so absorbed that she didn’t see him. The kindergarten teacher approached him.  
“Aiscal made quickly friends, although some of the parents did frown when they saw that an alien was playing with their children… but I made sure that they understood the situation,” she remarked.  
“Good,” said Quinn. “It’s better if they know from the start.”  
Aiscal was now explaining something to the boy; she gesticulated and pointed at something.  
“She is quite an imaginative child. When it started raining she told everyone that it’s because of the hot water she had bathed in.”  
“Really?” asked Quinn and began to smile. He was… proud of Aiscal. It seemed that she had remembered his explanation from the day they went to the zoo. This was interesting; he had to write that in his report. Quinn took it as evidence that she was an unusually bright girl.  
In this moment the boy’s father arrived and called his son; both children stopped playing and as Aiscal saw Quinn she began to beam and ran towards him.  
“Malavai!” She stopped right in front of him and grabbed his hand. “We were playing Sith and Dragon right now, but Jerek doesn’t know the story. He got it all wrong, so I explained it to him! And then… then it started to rain and I told them why it rained!”  
“Really?”  
“Yes, but I’ve got to bring the red book tomorrow. I promised Jerek.”  
“Of course, but we have to go now. Where is your bag?” asked Quinn.  
Aiscal ran to the wardrobe and came back with her rucksack but without his coat.  
“And my coat?”  
She ran away again and came back with it; judging from the food stains she had held onto it.  
“I’m sorry, but she wouldn’t part with it during lunch time,” said the teacher.  
Quinn was at first less than pleased at the prospect of wearing a dirty greatcoat, but he made an effort to smile and offhandedly commented that it didn’t matter. He put it on and took Aiscal’s hand, she looked up to him and smiled.  
Quinn felt an unfamiliar warm feeling in his chest and smiled at her. “Let’s go home, Ai.”


	4. The Return

The years passed and Quinn continued to write meticulously and tirelessly his weekly reports on Ai and sent them to her parents. It didn’t matter if they would never see the reports, he owed it to them.

 

He had just finished another one and uploaded it to his files. He scrolled past entries and opened one from a year ago – back then Quinn had taken some overdue vacation and they had gone camping in the mountains of the southern hemisphere of Dromund Kaas, where the temperatures were warmer than in its capital and where it didn’t rain as much. Quinn pushed the replay button.

A holovid of a kneeling Ai came to life: She was surrounded by tall trees and was trying to get the campfire started like Quinn had shown her on the day before.

He heard his own voice asking from the off: “Do you want help, Ai?”

She turned her head towards the holocamera and shook her head. “I want to try a little longer.”

After about a minute the camera was set down and Quinn entered the picture. He crouched down behind her and helped her with the matchsticks and the wood. As soon as the fire started burning she clapped her hands and laughed. Quinn gave her a peck on the top of her head, got up and stepped in front of the holocamera. The recording ended here.

 

Quinn smiled and scrolled further down to another entry.

He usually didn’t waste his time on past things, it was inefficient and useless in his opinion. But Quinn had to admit that he liked to watch this particular holovid, in fact it was the only one he had played several times since he had made it.

On the occasion of a parent-teacher conference the first graders, among them Ai, showed how good they already were at writing. The children were sitting at their desks, writing down a simple sentence the teacher was dictating them while the parents were watching. Quinn had thought it interesting to record with a holocam how the other children performed, in order to ascertain that Ai wasn’t falling behind. It had taken him only seconds to realise that while her classmates were age-appropriate writing slowly and with some difficulty, Ai had already finished writing. Quinn had zoomed in to get a better view of Ai and her writing. The letters were askew, but there was only one word actually misspelled.

The teacher told the children to get up and bring their papers to their parents. Aiscal beamed at the camera and ran towards it, holding the paper in her hand. The camera slightly waggled as Quinn put his right arm around her and squeezed her gently.

“You did great, Ai,” he said, a smile audible his voice.

“Your daughter writes astonishingly good,” said a female voice from the off, “you must be very proud.”

“Yes, I am,” replied Quinn.

 

The recording stopped and Quinn closed the files. He didn’t completely understand why he liked to watch this recording so much, there were others which showed that Ai was a very bright girl, but somehow it moved him deep down to see her write… or perhaps it was the expression on her face as she beamed at him? He couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Malavai?”

He snapped out of his thoughts and set his sights on the eight-year old twi’lek girl who was standing in his doorway, he hadn’t heard the door opening. Ai held her old vorantiki stuffed animal in front of her chest. She was pale.

Quinn instantly jumped up and approached her, he put his hand on her forehead –she hadn’t fever. But she had sweated… Then it dawned on him.

“Did you have another nightmare?” he asked gently.

“Yes… I can’t sleep,” she said in a throaty voice.

“Come on, I will make you a hot milk with honey and you can tell me what it was about,” suggested Quinn.

Ai began to walk towards the kitchen. Quinn followed her with a deep frown. In the past months Ai had started to have nightmares about people dying and screaming. The pictures she described were so detailed and strangely realistic that Quinn had come to the conclusion that they weren’t mere reflections from things she had possibly seen on the holonet but… visions. If they were vision then Aiscal was force-sensitive.

Quinn had always been in awe of the force, but he had never really understood it. Hence he felt out of his dept. Quinn had tried to contact Jaesa, but she hadn’t been returning his or Ai’s call for about a year. He assumed that something had happened to her, but it was impossible to ascertain if that was really the case.

He could also let her be tested by the authorities, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Quinn was almost certain that Ai was force-sensitive, but the thought of her going to the Sith Academy made him very uneasy. He had of course brooded about it plenty, and knew fully well that in the end he had no choice but to let her use her full potential. It was the law. It was the right thing to do, he had told himself. And yet he hadn’t undertaken the appropriate steps.

 

Ai paced back and forth while Quinn was preparing the hot milk. Finally he pulled a mug out of the replimat and handed it to her.

“It was like the other nightmares, people were hurting and screaming… and there was this strange feeling, I couldn’t get air, something was on my chest and I couldn’t breathe…” Ai broke off, staring at the mug in her hands.

Quinn put his hand on her back and stroked Ai softly. “It’s alright, it was… only a bad dream.”

Ai looked up at him as if she didn’t entirely believe him, but she remained silent.

After she had drunk the milk, Quinn escorted her in her back in her room. He stayed until she was asleep and returned to his own room. He tried once again to call Jaesa, but she didn’t pick up the holocall.

Uneasy he drummed his finger on the table. He had to do something, Ai’s nightmares weren’t getting any better and perhaps it was for the best if she would attend the Sith Academy? Thoughts of all the insane and sadistic Sith he had met during his career filled his mind. He tried to remember the few rational ones, but apart from Sibock he could only think of Vowrawn and Marr. Damn it, he needed to discuss this with someone.

Quinn activated the comm device one more time and chose a secured channel. This time the call was picked up and Pierce’s figure materialised, he was in full armour and had probably just returned from a mission.

“This must be like the first time you’ve ever called me, Quinn,” growled Pierce, then his tone softened. “Is Ai okay?”

“She is, I’m calling to … hear your opinion on a difficult matter,” Quinn haltingly said. “Can you talk?”

“Yeah, just a sec,” Pierce walked a few steps. “So… my opinion? For fuck’s sake, Quinn – I never thought the day would come when I would hear you say that!”

“Well, I couldn’t reach Jaesa in the past months,” said Quinn sharper than he had intended.

“Spit it out.”

“Ai is probably force-sensitive.”

“Crap!” exclaimed Pierce, he fell silent for a few moments. “We knew the day could come. But I get why you don’t want her to go to Korriban. I mean, we’ve both seen our share of broken apprentices, right?”

“Indeed we have,” agreed Quinn.

“But what’s the alternative? Assuming that nobody would ever realise that you actually failed to report a force-sensitive. She would grow up to be a soldier for the Empire, same as us sorry bastards and if she’s taking after her parents she wouldn’t be satisfied with a safe desk job.”

“But she would have a chance to grow up,” interjected Quinn. “She wouldn’t disappear in some tomb on Korriban like other acolytes.”

“Maybe not, but what if she could make it? Become a powerful Sith and kick Arcann’s ass?”

“Ai is only eight years old, Pierce. We have to…”

“… protect her? Come on, you know as well as I that that is not possible, at least not on the long run. Ai has to protect herself, and I think there is no better protection than a pretty lightsaber and a bunch of nasty force-tricks.”

Quinn’s chest felt tight. “To think that _you_ would have to remind _me_ of that.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just telling you what you needed to hear,” replied Pierce in an atypical calm voice. “It’s why you called me, right?”

Of course Pierce was right. There was no choice at all, not really. Quinn sighed. “Yes.”

“Alright, see you.” Without waiting for Quinn to respond Pierce ended the call.

 

Quinn rubbed his temples. There was indeed no way around it – Ai had to be tested. And if she really was force-sensitive she had to be trained accordingly. And yet he was more than reluctant to actually see it through – it seemed that it had been only yesterday when he had to help her to put her socks on. And now he was supposed to send her away… Were his concerns justified or was he holding her back? What if she was indeed destined to become a powerful Sith?

His brooding was interrupted by an incoming holocall. Quinn glanced at his chronometer, it was very late – was it Jaesa who was finally returning his call? No, the caller ID was unknown.

Quinn answered the call. The small bluish figures that materialised on his holo made his heart leap: Sibock and Vette. Quinn’s mind went blank for a moment, his feelings almost overwhelmed him, surprise, joy, confusion and finally relief.

“My lord! Vette!” he gasped, before pulling himself together, within seconds he reverted back in his old, comfortable role of a subordinate. Quinn bowed and forced his voice to sound calm and cool. “How fortunate to have you back.”

“Is Ai alright?” asked Vette, her usually friendly tone missing from her voice. She nervously kneaded her hands.

Quinn was again taken back – he had after all sent them detailed weekly reports. “Yes, she is. I sent you regular updates on her development, didn’t you…”

“Where is she?” interjected Vette harshly.

“She’s here on Dromund Kaas, to be precise she’s in her room sleeping.” Quinn was still excited but he noted with satisfaction that his tone was as professional as it had always been.

Vette exhaled and looked at Sibock, he put his hand on her shoulder and smiled. Then Sibock turned his attention toward Quinn.

“Thank you, Quinn.” Sibock softly said before continued with a more commanding voice. “You mentioned updates on Ai – what do you mean by that?”

“My lord,” Quinn almost stood at attention. “I sent you and Vette weekly reports on your holofrequencies. I take it that you didn’t receive them?”

Sibock was visibly shocked. “No… we didn’t check our old holofrequencies at all. We simply didn’t think that anybody would still use them.”

“Wait a minute,” said Vette disbelievingly, “you sent you weekly reports during the last five _years_?”

“Yes, it was – is my duty,” Quinn curtly replied.

“Your duty…” Vette repeated. “And what about the others? Where is Jaesa?”

Quinn briefly told them what he knew about the current whereabouts of Pierce, Jaesa and Broonmark and what had led them to leave Dromund Kaas and how he had managed to avoid assignment on another planet.

Vette buried her face shortly in her hands, then she took a deep breath. “We will arrive at Dromund Kaas in seven hours. Let Ai sleep for now and tell her tomorrow that we’re on our way.”

“Of course,” replied Quinn. He was glad and at the same time everything happened to fast that he felt dizzy.

“What did you tell her where we were?” asked Sibock, he shifted from one leg to another and looked uneasy.

“That you were both on a mission. May I ask where you have been?”

“We were captured by Arcann and frozen in carbonite for years, Lana Beniko freed us a few days ago.”

Quinn didn’t know how to respond and remained silent.

Vette smiled for the first time. “I’m sorry if I was harsh earlier, I was just worried about Ai – thank you, Quinn.”

Sibock crossed his arms. “We have much to discuss. See you tomorrow, Quinn.”

Quinn bowed and the call ended.

 

 

Needless to say that Quinn didn’t sleep that night. He rehearsed what he would tell Ai; but every attempt seemed worse than the last. In the end he decided that he would just tell her the plain and simple truth. When it was time to wake her up, he quietly entered her room and watched her sleep for a few minutes. Hearing her steady breathing calmed him down. Finally Quinn sat down on the edge of the bed and said quietly: “Ai, it’s time – wake up.”

She turned over and mumbled something.

He put his hand on her back. “You have to get up, Ai. There is something important I have to tell you.”

Ai glanced sleepily over her shoulder at him. “What?”

When she realised how serious he was, she quickly sat up.

“Your parents will finally return from their mission.”

She stared at him. “What?”

“They called me, they will be here in about two hours.” Quinn continued in a calm and gentle voice.

Ai was obviously shocked, she didn’t move for several seconds before she finally leaned forward and hugged Quinn. She sniffled a little bit and when she let go of him she smiled, but at the same time she was on the verge of tears.

“I didn’t think that they would ever come back,” she said and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Then she looked at him and said in a very quietly: “I don’t remember their voices anymore.”

“It’s alright,” replied Quinn softly, “you will hear their voices again.” He pulled her in another hug and added: “Everything will be fine. I promise.”

 


	5. The Homecoming

Ai sat in the entrance lobby for almost two hours. Quinn checked several times on her – she was nervously scrolling through holopictures of her parents and didn’t want to talk at all. He was equally antsy and busied himself by writing the school that Ai wouldn’t attend in the next couple of days. After that he buried himself in work until Ai came running into his room.

“I hear the lift moving, they’re coming!” she literally yelled. Quinn couldn’t decide whether she sounded happy or scared.

Quinn took a deep breath, got up and straightened his jacket before he briskly walked towards the lift. Ai followed him.

Together they waited a few seconds before the lift arrived. Ai stood very close to Quinn, and when he glanced at her he saw that she was biting her nails. He frowned, she had never done that before.

Finally the lift door slid open and Vette and Sibock stepped out of it. The first thing Quinn registered was, that Vette wore some sort of foreign light armour. Sibock wore his usual red and black Sith armour, but he had removed his mask. Seeing them after all these years felt slightly surreal for Quinn.

He snapped at attention. “My lord.” Then he nodded towards Vette. “Vette. It’s good to have you back.”

“At ease, Captain,” said Sibock and Quinn eased into parade rest. Sibock turned his attention immediately to Ai. His stern face softened up and he smiled. “Ai, I’m so happy to see you… you’ve grown so much.”

Vette took a knee and extended her arms. She smiled and had to blink her tears away. “Come here, honey.”

But to everyone’s surprise Ai didn’t oblige, instead she stepped closer to Quinn and grabbed his hand while her eyes never left her mother. Vette’s happy smile faded, seeing her daughter hesitate obviously pained her. Sibock had an equally hurt expression on his face and he quickly put his hand on Vette’s shoulder as if he needed something to lean on.

Quinn realised that Ai needed some encouragement to master this difficult situation. He crouched down and took Ai’s small hands into his. “I’ll come along,” he whispered.

Ai still stared at Vette and nodded a little.

Quinn got up again and hand in hand he and Ai approached Vette. When they were close enough Ai let go of his hand and let herself pull into a hug. After a few moments she returned Vette’s hug and started crying.

Sibock knelt down embraced his wife and his daughter. Tears were running down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Ai. I’m sorry that it took us so long to come back to you,” he mumbled.

Quinn stood next to them and felt that he was intruding in an intimate family moment, and yet he couldn’t find it in his heart to leave. Seeing them together was such a relief, it made him truly happy. Watching the family moved him. Suddenly he had to fight the urge to touch them... to hug Ai as well. Quinn pulled himself together, no, it wasn’t appropriate – he was only Sibock’s servant. That was all, he wasn’t Ai’s… she was back with her family now.

 

 

During the next couple of hours Sibock and Vette talked with Ai and let her show them her toys and her drawings. Quinn registered that Ai was getting used to her parents pretty quickly. It didn’t surprise him. She was usually very shy when she met people, but she always warmed up quickly and became quite bubbly. It was probably one of the reasons why Ai had so many friends at school.

Quinn decided to give the family space and withdrew into his room. Strangely enough the room seemed too quiet, although he could hear Vette’s and Ai’s voices from outside. Quinn almost turned around to join the family again. He stopped himself just in time. Despite his best efforts to rationalise that it was just sentimentality his feelings were still in an uproar.

He allowed himself to stare out of the window for a few minutes, contemplating his future. He wasn’t the same man as five years ago. Or was he still ‘Captain Quinn’ rather than ‘Agent Quinn’? In what capacity should he serve now?

He decided to calm down before musing further about this subject. Best if he continued working, it usually cleared his mind. Quinn sat down and activated his data pad and started to read another report.

 

Quinn lost himself in his work until suddenly his chronometer beeped. He checked the time, it was 12 o’clock, time for Ai’s lunch. He slowly got up, wondering if he should bother the family. It was certainly good for Ai to stick to her usual daily routine, he decided and went looking for her. He found Ai, Sibock and Vette in the living room, they were talking about school and Ai just told them what subjects she liked.

“I like the history classes and …” then she saw Quinn and beamed at him. “Hi Malavai! Is it already noon?”

Quinn was relieved that he hadn’t to bring up the subject himself. “Yes, it is.”

Sibock shot him a questioningly look. “What’s up?”

“It’s 12 o’clock, Ai usually eats lunch now,” replied Quinn.

Ai jumped up from the sofa and ran into the kitchen.

“You sure run a tight shift, Quinn,” Vette said with a neutral voice.

Quinn wasn’t sure how to respond to this remark. He fell back once again in his role of the professional imperial Captain Vette and Sibock used to know. “Studies suggested that having a clear cut daily timetable is important to children.”

“You’re right of course,” Sibock also stood up from the couch. “But you don’t have to worry about it anymore. I’m guess that you want to spend your time otherwise than checking on Ai’s eating habits.”

Again Quinn was uncertain what to say. There wasn’t anything more important than to watch over Ai’s well-being, wasn’t it? He even packed her breaktime snacks himself. Sometimes he put little notes in her lunchbox, to remind her to eat one piece of fruit a day or to announce that he will be working longer. But it wasn’t his job anymore, was it?

“I don’t mind,” he finally said.

“Malavai come on,” Ai yelled from the kitchen. “I already replicated the stew!”

They went into the kitchen, Ai had indeed already put four plates with stew on the table.

Sibock sat down and smiled at his daughter. “Did you choose what we’ll have for lunch?”

Ai looked at him with some confusion. “No, I just followed the food plan.”

Vette also sat down and had to bite back a laugh. “I guess that’s also one of your plans, Quinn?”

“Well… the nutrition level…” Quinn began, but Vette cut him off:

“Relax, I’m just teasing you.” She chuckled a little bit.

“Yes… of course,” Quinn replied. He had forgotten how much Vette enjoyed to banter with him. He had been amused, at least sometimes, but today her words left a bitter taste.

 

 

In the afternoon Quinn once again retreated to his room and continued to compile reports. He had worked for some time when somebody knocked on his door.

“Enter,” he called.

The door slid open and Vette entered. Quinn got up, straightened his jacket and stepped in front of his desk.

“How may I help you, Vette?” he asked stiffly.

Vette looked with mild interest at the furniture and the paintings, only now Quinn realised that she had never set foot in his room before.

“What do you know? There is not one imperial standard here, not even a portrait of Grand Moff Kilran… I’m almost disappointed,” she quipped and grinned at him.

“There is no need for your snide comments,” retorted Quinn irritated and regretted it at the same moment. He didn’t know why her joke had gotten under his skin.

What Vette did next truly shocked Quinn: She stepped forward and embraced him. Then she let go of him and laughed. “Oh I should have done that years ago – your face is priceless.” Then her tone got more serious. “I meant it – I’m grateful to you.” She began to pace back and forth. “To say it’s strange to come here is the understatement of the century – it’s like we were only a few weeks away, but everything is so different. And Ai… she changed so much – she doesn’t know us anymore – and we don’t know her either anymore.”

He cleared his throat. “I assume you hadn’t had the time to read up on the reports? I also added holovids to document her development.”

Vette shook her head. She stopped her pacing and sat down on his desk, her feet were dangling in the air. “Yeah, we didn’t have much time to see through all of it, you were very thorough after all.” She paused for a moment. “But it’s not the same, y’know reading about what has happened and actually being there – you were there, not Jaesa, not Pierce, not Sibock, not me – _you_. The stiff imp who hates aliens.”

Quinn wanted to object, but Vette lifted her hand and continued: “I was so angry at first. You had the privilege to see her grow up, you raised her – heck, she’s even got your posh accent. By the force, you, a cold-hearted imperial jerk, know her longer than I do, and it hurts.” Vette clenched her hands to fists and took a deep breath after her rant.

“It that why you hugged me?” asked Quinn dryly. “Because I’m a cold-hearted jerk?”

Suddenly she seemed reluctant. “Actually I came here to thank you for all you have done, but it seems that old habits are hard to shake. Anyways… I wanted to tell you that you’ve done your duty. Sibock had been right: You followed his order and gave Ai what she needed. It must have been hard for you, ending your military career, taking care of an alien child… We can take over from here, your debt to Sibock has been repaid.”

Quinn felt a lump forming in his throat. Was this all? Had he really only done his duty? “Why isn’t Lord Sibock telling me this himself?”

Before Vette could answer the door slid open once again and Sibock entered.

“What took you so long?” asked Vette.

Sibock smiled. “Ai wanted to show me another drawing.” Then he turned his attention to Quinn and said: “I guess Vette already thanked you – allow me to show my gratitude as well.” Before Quinn could react Sibock pulled him in a rough hug and squeezed him so hard that Quinn’s ribcage started to hurt.

Finally Sibock let go of him and patted him on his shoulder. “Did Vette already tell you that you’re free to go?”

“Yes, my lord,” Quinn replied. He gulped, but the lump in his throat didn’t go away. He wanted to add ‘I don’t want to leave – I want to look after Ai, please don’t sent me away’ but he couldn’t say it, the words wouldn’t leave his mouth. Instead he cleared his throat and said: “My lord, there is a vital piece of information you should know about.”

“Yes?”

“I think that Ai is possibly force-sensitive – she had nightmares in the past months that led me to believe that she’s having visions.”

Sibock rubbed his chin. “Interesting, it’s of course possible. Didn’t you test her?”

Quinn shook his head. “Not yet, my lord.”

“Wait a moment – you said that she’s having these nightmares for months and you still didn’t sent her to take some tests?” butted Vette in. “It isn’t like you to let something like this slide, Quinn.”

“My apologizes,” replied Quinn curtly and gulped again to get rid of the lump.

“Don’t apologize…” said Sibock, “Vette, you might not know that, but if Ai had been identified as force-sensitive she would’ve been sent into the Sith Academy. It’s imperial law.”

“What?” Vette jumped to her feet. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think that it would be an issue, I always thought that I could teach her myself – only children without force-sensitive parents are obliged to go to the Sith Academy when they’re underage,” replied Sibock defensively.

Vette crossed her arms. “I think I need a word with my husband. If you would excuse us, Quinn.” She briskly strode out of the room. Sibock nodded towards Quinn.

“It’s good that you waited, Quinn – the Academy is no place for Ai. Not yet at least.” With these words Sibock left as well.

Quinn stared at the door sliding shut and wiped across his face. Why hadn’t he just said it? He wanted to stay, he wanted to continue to take care of Ai. No, he hadn’t said it because it was presumptions of him to even think that Ai still needed him – her parents were back. Real parents who didn’t need studies and plans to cope with a child. With a heavy heart Quinn returned to work.

 


	6. The FEELS II

When he had finished his intelligence analysis Quinn realised that it was almost past Ai’s dinnertime. He quickly got up and strode into the kitchen, only to find Vette and Sibock already putting the plates with food on the table. Ai stood in a corner and rubbed her hands, she had a focussed expression on her face. Quinn noticed that the food wasn’t the planned fish dish.

“I hope you don’t mind that we deviated from you superior food plan, Quinn,” said Vette with a friendly laugh. “But we thought we should celebrate the occasion with a roast!”

“That’s of course your prerogative,” replied Quinn stiffly. Vette meant well, but it still gave Quinn a small stab in the heart to realise that all his carefully conceived plans and studies were ridiculed again. Of course, it was quite stilly now that he thought about it…

Quinn turned his attention to Ai; perhaps she was content with the changes – perhaps she even was weary of his completely planned out food regiment.

Ai watched her parents put the roast on the table and seemed a little lost. “Why aren’t we eating fish?” She asked while biting her nails.

“Because today is a special day, Ai,” replied Sibock. “We can eat fish tomorrow.”

“But tomorrow we eat soup and au gratin potatoes,” she retorted.

Vette and Sibock exchanged glances.

“Quinn?” Sibock asked, obviously wanting him to handle the situation.

“Yes my lord,” Quinn automatically replied. “I will handle it.”

Ai rushed to him and grabbed Quinn’s arm and looked at him pleadingly. “You are acting strange. Why are you talking like this, Malavai?”

Quinn realised that she was genuinely scared by the whole situation and it pained him to see her like that. He had wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t worry, but before he could find the words Sibock answered.

 “Don’t worry, honey – our Captain Quinn’s just upset that we stray off the usual course,” Sibock said and put the glasses on the table.

Quinn stared at the plates, trying to ignore the rising pain in his chest. It was as if he couldn’t breathe properly.

“Why do you keep calling Malavai that? Don’t call him that!” said Ai with in a whiny voice.

“Ai…” Vette sounded surprised. “It’s just… we…” she mumbled so quietly that Quinn almost didn’t hear her.

Ai tugged at Quinn’s arm and forced him to look at her once again. “Do you have stomach ache?” she asked. Her caring question almost broke his heart and Quinn took a sharp breath.

Sibock didn’t notice that Quinn was struggling to keep his composure, he simply continued to put the cutlery on the table and said with a chuckle: “Remember the time when we were on Nar Shaddaa and Vette and I arrived about fifteen minutes too late to the rendezvous and you just stood there staring at us for messing with your timetable… you really should loosen up, Quinn. This isn’t the imperial navy. It’s just dinner.”

Vette realised that something was off. “Qu… Malavai? Are you alright?”

Quinn grabbed the backrest of the chair in front of him and squeezed it so hard that his knuckles turned white. “I did my best.”

Sibock stopped in the middle of a movement and stared at Quinn. “What?”

“I really tried to do everything right,” Quinn said in a pressed voice. “I did my best to take care of Ai – and I was proud!” His voice became slightly brittle. “I was proud how well I managed, how well Ai and I managed… but it’s just a joke to you, isn’t it? I made these plans, all timetables because I love Ai – I wanted the best for her, and this was the only way I knew, the only way I trusted… and you just make fun of it. You both make fun of my love for Ai… and by the stars you’re right, it’s ridiculous! Of course you expect me to leave…” Quinn stooped mid-sentence. “If you will excuse me.” He turned to leave, but was stopped by Ai. She was still holding his arm.

Her big brown eyes were filled with tears.

“What are you talking about?” Ai sobbed. “You promised me that you would never leave me alone…” Her face screwed up and she began crying.

Quinn quickly knelt down and took her into his arms. Ai continued sobbing and put her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry Ai… I didn’t mean to scare you,” said Quinn, barely holding his own tears back. “I won’t leave you.”

A muffled gasp directed Quinn’s sight to Vette who was still standing at the same place as before. She had put her right hand on the mouth, her eyes were wet.

Quinn gently freed himself from the hug and took a napkin from the table. Ai was still sobbing, but she wasn’t crying anymore. Quinn dried her eyes carefully with the napkin.

“I won’t leave you,” he repeated quietly.

“Really?” Ai’s eyes were puffy, but she was slowly calming down.

“I promised, didn’t I?” Quinn gave her a small smile. He cupped her face in his right hand and brushed over her cheek with his thumb. In this moment everything that had led to his break-down was forgotten. He had been a fool, it wasn’t about him, it never had been. All that mattered was Ai.

“I’m hungry,” Ai said and sniffled.

“Well, then it’s a good thing that dinner is ready,” said Quinn and got back on his feet. Vette had found her countenance and looked surprisingly calm. Sibock on the other hand was still shaken, he also seemed clam, but his right hand trembled slightly when he put the last glass on the table.

“But it’s not fish,” said Ai with defiance in her voice.

“Do I have to remind you of the porridge?” asked Quinn.

Ai considered the question for a few moments and answered “No.” Then she pulled a chair up and sat down.

Vette, Sibock and Quinn exchanged glances and followed suit. The meaning was clear, they would talk later.

In order to give Ai a sense of security and order Quinn decided to act as he usually would – and laid his old military persona to rest, at least for the moment.

“Was Jerek yesterday at school? Or is he still sick?” Quinn asked and started to cut the piece of meat on his plate.

“He’s still sick, but Alina is finally back.” Ai eyed her plate and finally shoved a fork full of noodles in her mouth.

Ai continued talking about school and the dinner passed without further incident.

 

 

After the dessert Ai disappeared into her room. The grown-ups still sat around the table.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” admitted Sibock.

Vette put her hand on Sibock’s. “Why didn’t you say anything before?” she asked.

Quinn briefly glanced at Vette, then he averted his gaze. “Because it’s not my place.” He shifted in his chair. “And because I knew deep down that you were right,” he bitterly added, “who needs studies, timetables and development reports when dealing with a child? It’s pathetic… it’s the best I could do and it’s pathetic.”

“I don’t think that you or your plans are pathetic,” said Sibock forcefully. “Otherwise I would’ve never asked you to take care of Ai.”

Vette vocalised what Quinn thought:

“But that’s just it; you didn’t ask him, you ordered Q… Malavai to take care of Ai.”

“Would that made a difference to you, Malavai?” asked Sibock honestly confused.

Quinn lifted his gaze and took a sharp breath. “No, my lord. I’ve assumed that it was an order nonetheless.”

Vette sighed. “Please stop calling Sibock ‘my lord’ – it makes my skin crawl. You took care of our daughter for five years, I think you can call him by his given name.”

“It wouldn’t be proper,” objected Quinn.

“Vette is right.” Sibock crossed his arms. “Too much has changed.”

“As you wish… Sibock,” replied Quinn.

An awkward silence stretched out.

Vette opened her mouth and closed it again, then she visibly pulled herself together and asked: “Did Ai remember us of her own? Or did you help along?”

Quinn straightened himself. “Children under four years have very little long-term memory…” he began, but as he saw Vette’s pained expression he hastened to add “… but Ai did remember you for a relative long time. But eventually she started to forget so I reminded her with a few holopictures as soon she became confused of my role.”

“I assume you mentioned all this in your reports?” asked Sibock in a toneless voice.

Quinn nodded.

“By the force… I was such a fool,” muttered Sibock. “I honestly thought that she remembered us of her own. That it would take only a little time for her to get used to us again.”

Vette groaned. “And we just show up like a couple of jerks and criticise the only parent she knows, and mess up her daily routine!”

Quinn felt obliged to intervene. “I’m not her parent – I repeatedly told her…”

Vette laughed joylessly. “Of course you are! You can deny it all you want, but we’ve seen it. And we’ve heard it – you told us yourself that you love her! And the way you just shrugged off your stiff imperial self and took care of her – I just saw your rigid plans and would have never dreamed that _this_ was behind them.” She awkwardly gestured towards Quinn.

Quinn felt heat crawl up his cheeks. “I want to apologize for my lack of restraint earlier, it seems that the events have overwhelmed me.”

Sibock leaned forward. “There is something else, I sense that you feel guilty… why?”

Quinn ran his hand through his hair and shortly buried his face in his hands before he looked Sibock in the eye. “I’ve written everything in my reports.”

“Malavai – tell us,” insisted Vette.

“Very well, you were right about me, Vette. It was dangerous to leave Ai in my care because I am, I was an emotionally cold xenophobe. I had to learn to… love Ai. I was against your marriage with Sibock, and I didn’t cherish the idea of looking after an alien child. It’s not right that Ai would like someone like me. One day she will find out who I really am and it will hurt her.”

“Who you really are?” asked Vette. “And who was that guy in the kitchen we saw earlier?”

Quinn didn’t know what to say and stared on his hands.

“Look at me,” said Sibock in a commanding voice.

He obeyed and was surprised at the intensity of Sibock’s bright orange eyes. It was as if the Sith was looking in his very soul.

“I know you, Malavai Quinn. I know exactly who you are – you are the man who sees the error of his ways. Be it with Darth Baras or be it with his opinions on aliens. You are an honourable and at times even loving man. And if I can see that so can Ai.”

Quinn was taken aback to hear this from Sibock. He had never thought that he had a high opinion of him, he had always assumed that Sibock had kept him around because he knew that Quinn would be loyal to him. As soon as Quinn had processed this information something else came to mind – Ai would also see that too in him?

It seemed that Vette had also registered Sibock’s choice of words.

“What do you mean? Is Ai force-sensitive?”

Sibock nodded. “I clearly felt it when she was upset. It’s unusual that I could get a read on her in her age. I daresay that Ai will become a very powerful force-user.” He smiled.

Vette hugged herself and seemed not as pleased as Sibock.

Quinn on the other hand was proud of Ai. The Sith were the backbone of the Empire and to think that she could become one of its pillars was amazing. At the same time Quinn was strangely disquieted and he realised with a jolt that he had secretly hoped that Ai wouldn’t be force-sensitive. Even though she didn’t had to go to Korriban now that Sibock was back, Quinn still felt uneasy.

“I will begin her training as quickly as possible,” announced Sibock.

Vette put her hand on Sibock’s arm and squeezed it. “I know that you’re excited, but you need to be careful. Don’t overstrain her.”

Quinn knew that he had no real right to participate in this discussion, but then he reminded himself that this wasn’t about him, it was about Ai. He cleared his throat. “My l… Sibock, might I suggest that you focus on her visions first? She needs to know how to stop them.”

“You’re right, Malavai,” concurred Vette. “The nightmares have to stop.”

“I’m afraid you both misunderstand the nature of these visions. They’re a gift from the force, nobody can stop them. All I can do is help Ai understand them and in time she can control and read her visions – they cease to be nightmares.”

“But she will get better?” asked Quinn.

“Of course, she will be able to take advantage of her visions.”

Quinn felt relieved and leaned back in his chair. Vette looked like her mind was put at ease as well.

Sibock got up and stroked Vette’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I will go and tell Ai that I will teach her.”

Vette grabbed his hand and kissed it. “No, my love, I think Malavai should tell her. She needs stability at the moment.”

“As always you’re right, Vette,” replied Sibock in a soft voice. Then he turned his attention to Quinn. “Malavai?”

Quinn almost jumped up. “Yes, of course – thank you.” Without hesitation he briskly walked to Ai’s room.

 

 

Ai lay on the large carpet on the floor and was drawing on a piece of paper. Crayons were scattered around her. She was completely focussed on colouring and didn’t notice him at first. Quinn watched her for a few seconds before he entered the room.

Ai beamed at him as soon as she saw him. “Look, I’m drawing a jungle!”

“So I see, what’s that? A flower?” asked Quinn and sat down on the rug, carefully paying attention that he didn’t sit on a crayon.

“Yeah, and this is a vine cat,” she pointed on a brownish, a little misshapen animal. “And here’s a yozusk.”

“Of course,” Quinn smiled, then he took a purple crayon which lay near him and started to play with it. “Ai, I’m sorry if I scared you before. I was just a little upset.”

“Are you better now?”

He glanced at her, Ai had again a worried expression on her face. A warm feeling spread out in Quinn’s chest.

“Yes, everything is alright now. We even talked about your nightmares and how to stop them.”

“Really? How do you do that?” The smile returned to her face.

Quinn laughed a little. “I don’t do anything, but you father does. It turns out that you are force-sensitive like him – that’s why you are having these nightmares.” He paused to let Ai process what he had said. Quinn put the purple crayon down and waited for Ai’s reaction.

“I’m force-sensitive? You mean I can become a Sith?” asked Ai excitedly.

Quinn took her in his arms. “Yes, just like the Sith in your favourite book when you were little.”

Ai snuggled into his chest and Quinn began to stroke her lekkus.

“The Sith in the book was alone, I don’t want to be alone,” Ai said with a muffled voice.

“She wasn’t alone, she had her zeldrate with her,” replied Quinn softly.

“I don’t want a zeldrate, I want you to come along on my adventures.” Ai snuggled even deeper into his chest.

Quinn placed a kiss on the top of her head. “And I will gladly accompany you, my little Sith. I will always be on your side. Always.”

 


	7. Meant to Be

Ai continued to go to school and trained with Sibock in the late afternoons. Quinn sometimes caught them meditating on the balcony – in fact it seemed like this was all they were doing. Quinn didn’t understand the ways of the force and was still in awe at the thought that his little Ai… that Ai would become a Sith. She was very intelligent and brave… she would rule wisely as a Dark Council member. Yes, she would succeed… Quinn smiled at the thought.

“Care to tell me what you’re grinning about?” asked Vette.

Quinn snapped out of his daydreams. He was standing in the living room and was staring out of the widow. It was raining lightly and Sibock and Ai had just stopped their training for the day; they were soaked, but they were laughing.

Quinn turned to face Vette. “I didn’t grin,” he said and shifted from one leg to another. “But I’m indeed content to see that Ai is happy.” What was Vette thinking about her daughter becoming a Sith? Quinn couldn’t imagine that she would be as excited as he at the prospect.

Vette crossed her arms and stepped in front of the panorama window. “I had time to read more of your reports and watch the holorecordings in the past weeks – she was happy before… she lacked for nothing,” she said bitterly.

Quinn followed Vette’s gaze: Sibock and Ai were still talking, he was levitating a small stone in front of her.

“Then I’ve accomplished my goal.” Quinn looked back at Vette and clasped his hands behind his back.

Vette reached out and put her fingertips on the glass in front of her. “Ai needs Sibock to teach her the force stuff. But what’s my job?” She didn’t sound bitter anymore.

“The same as mine: to support her.”

Vette sighted. “How? You help her with her homework and managed to teach an eight year old basic physics while I never even been to school. I know a lot about blasters and slicing but that’s it. What am I supposed to teach her?”

Quinn was caught off guard by her question. “I… you could teach her about twi’lek culture. Perhaps you could teach her to speak Twi’leki?”

“I come from a family of slaves and was shipped from planet to planet – I can’t speak Twi’leki and I don’t know a thing about twi’lek culture…” Vette clenched her hand to a fist. “I watched the holorecording when you were camping together. You taught her to make fire and how to keep it going even if it was raining… and other stuff...” She stared out of the window, seemingly lost in thought.

At first Quinn just stood there, unable to determine how to react, after a few moments he asked: “Shall I make you a cup of tea?”

Vette nodded without facing him. “Yes please.”

Quinn went into the kitchen and came shortly later back in the living room with a cup of tea and exactly three biscuits on a small plate. Vette took the tea and blew on the hot beverage.

“Thank you.”

She glanced at the biscuits and shook her head. Quinn stared down on the small plate in his hand and tried to think of something to say.

 “Vette… I think you overestimate my importance.” Quinn ran his hand through his hair. “You just see bits and pieces in my reports and it doesn’t reflect how it was. We had difficult times too.”

Vette made an visible effort to smile. “I’m sorry that I even brought it up – it’s just very confusing and I feel that I’m out of my depth.”

“You should give it more time. It has been only a few weeks since you returned. You just have to settle in.”

Vette took a biscuit and bit a small piece off. She chewed slowly before she gulped and continued to speak. “I’m trying. And I know it’s unfair to whine about it in your presence… Even I am tired of talking about it. I will shut up now.”

Vette shoved the rest of the biscuit in her mouth.

Quinn stared at her, then he slowly said: “Perhaps you should talk with Sibock about it, I’m not particularly good with giving advice.”

Vette chewed on her lower lip. “I just thought that if anyone would understand, then it would be you. You certainly wondered why Sibock would get involved with me, right? I wondered about it too.” She scoffed. “So much about shutting up about my issues.”

“You’re right – I questioned Sibock’s judgment when he pursued a relationship with you.” Quinn hesitantly admitted. “But I’ve changed my opinion. Not that it would matter, you don’t need my approval.”

“No, I don’t. But thanks anyway.”

Vette nudged Quinn and a small smile returned to her lips. “Look at us, who would’ve thought that we could ever have a conversation without snapping at each other. And now we’re baring our souls to each other. That’s what I call progress.”

“Quite,” Quinn dryly replied and took a biscuit.

Vette grabbed the last one and the silently stood next to each eating the biscuits while watching Sibock and Ai chasing each other on the balcony.

 

 

Months passed and Quinn made an effort to include Vette into his activities with Ai. He registered that Vette became more relaxed and less strained when dealing with Ai. Ai got used more and more to her parents, but Quinn was still her focus of attention. He knew that he shouldn’t be so happy about it, but Quinn couldn’t help but feel joy whenever she asked him for his help or showed him a new drawing first. He also continued to put her in bed in the evenings.

“It’s already late, my little Sith. You should sleep now,” said Quinn and made sure that all of Ai’s stuffed animals were within her reach.

Just as he put the last one next to Ai’s pillow she asked: “Malavai? Is it true that Sith don’t have to follow the rules?”

“Sometimes, but there are rules that apply for everyone.”

“Which rules?” She grabbed her nexu toy and held it while she looked at Quinn.

Quinn hesitated. “Your father can answer this question better than me.”

“He said that Sith don’t have to listen to non-Sith. That I will be stronger than them and can tell them what they have to do.”

“That’s true, but that counts only for grown-up Sith. Until then you still have to listen to your elders.”

Ai started to play around with the little nexu. “Would you have to do what I tell you?”

“Of course, I’m not a Sith.” Quinn replied without hesitation.

“Okay,” she didn’t sound eager at all.

“You don’t have to worry about it – it’s going to be a long time before you can order me around.” Quinn smiled at her. “But then you can tell me to do your homework.”

Ai began to giggle. She pulled her nexu toy chose to her chest beamed at Quinn.

“Good night, my little Sith.”

“Good night, Malavai!”

 

 

Several months later it became clear that Ai was a fast learner. Quinn had just arrived at home from work when Ai came running to him and screaming on top of her lungs: “Malavai! Malavai! Look what I can do!”

He didn’t even have the time to hang up his greatcoat, she grabbed his hand and dragged him into the living room where Vette and Sibock were standing around the coffee table in the middle of the room. A small pebble stone was lying on it.

“Look!” exclaimed Ai once again and knelt down in front of the table. She stared at the pebble stone with a very focussed expression on her face. After about a minute the stone started to move slowly towards Ai. It moved about a centimetre before it stopped. Ai exhaled and began to beam at Quinn.

“Did you see? I moved it!” She laughed.

Quinn felt immense pride washing over him and he picked her and held her up before he pulled towards his chest and embraced her.

“That’s great Ai! You moved the stone!” Quinn said and squeezed her a little before putting her down.

“I will try to move my toys!” Ai squealed and ran off.

“Ai is making good progress,” remarked Vette while picking up the small stone, “are all force-users able to move objects when they’re so young?”

“It’s very individual,” replied Sibock with a grin. He looked very pleased with himself. “But there are few who manage to do so much with the force after just a few months of training.”

“Is it a question of focus?” asked Quinn.

“Partly. The force flows around everything like a current. One has to feel the force, and focus on it in order to bend it. Beginners have to see the object they want to move – advanced users can manipulate things without actually seeing them.”

“You mean force persuasion?” Vette put the pebble back on the table.

“That’s different. I thought more of force choking. You have to feel the windpipe before you can crush it.” Sibock smiled darkly, his orange eyes seemed to lit up.

Quinn gulped involuntary, but his curiosity was piqued. “Could you theoretically manipulate your opponent’s vital organs?”

“Yes, but that requires an intimate knowledge of anatomy. There are so many currents flowing through a body, it would be hard or even impossible to find the right one in the heat of a battle. But it’s an interesting thought.”

“Is that how force healing works?” inquired Vette.

Sibock shrugged. “I don’t know. I assume it works that way, but since healing is more of a Jedi technique I’m not familiar with it.”

Quinn rubbed his chin. “Interesting…”

Sibock let himself fall on the couch and put his feet on the couch table. “Since you’re both here we should discuss Ai’s future training.”

Vette sat next to Sibock. “What do you mean?”

“A Sith has to learn that the way to power is long, hard and no one can be trusted. In a few years we have to be prepared to teach Ai that she is going to face.”

“It’s not only the way of the Sith that’s dangerous,” added Vette. “I know that the time will come when we have to show her what the galaxy is like – but can’t it wait a little longer?”

“Sith are meant to rule,” said Quinn and clasped his hands behind his back, “Ai should learn that as soon as possible. Otherwise she won’t be able to rise to the occasion when it presents itself.” Quinn had spoken with conviction and at the same time he fleetingly thought about the sweet child that Ai was, still kissing every one of her stuffed animals in the morning before she left for school when she thought that nobody was watching. Laughing wholeheartedly when she was watching her favourite cartoon on the holonet.

“I understand that, but how should we manage that without confusing her?” asked Vette.

“We will continue as usual. I will teach her during my training sessions with me – but it’s important that you support me.”

Vette crossed her arms. “I don’t like this. I don’t want my daughter to become…”

“… like me?” asked Sibock.

“I understand that Ai has to learn how to navigate in the Empire as Sith, but I don’t want her to become somebody she’s not.”

“She will become who she’s meant to be,” said Sibock quietly.


	8. Forceful

“Happy birthday!” Quinn heard Vette muffled voice as he sat in his office and finished his work. He got up and walked into the living room. Vette was putting a huge chocolate cake on the glass table in the middle of the room. Ai was surrounded by her friends from school, they were all chatting and laughing. Ai grinned happily and used casually the force to blow out the thirteen candles on the cake, some of the chatter died down but resumed after a few seconds.

Quinn caught Vette’s eye and she came over while Ai was cutting the cake and handing out pieces of it to her friends.

“I told her not to use the force – it scares people,” Vette frowned.

“But it’s part of her.”

“Of course, but even that doesn’t mean that she has to startle her friends.”

Quinn was watching the children. Ai was now eating cake while listening to Jerek. It seems that he was telling her a joke – Ai snorted and grinned at him.

“You know that Sith can’t afford to trust anybody. They rule through fear,” said Quinn.

“I’m aware, Sibock did tell me that he will teach Ai this… awful lesson soon … but how is scaring a bunch of kids accomplishing anything?”

“Perhaps you’re right,” admitted Quinn and decided to change the subject. “Where is Sibock? I thought I saw him earlier.”

“He’s in the training room downstairs, Ai asked him not to show up at her party while her friends are here.”

“Ah yes, she’s still mad at him for showing up at school with full Sith armour for the school play.”

“Well… at least we had enough space.”

Quinn remembered how nobody would come near them. The children on the stage seemed very nervous about it too, one boy even started to cry.

“Indeed.”

 

 

A couple of hours later Ai’s friends had left and Sibock emerged from the training room with a longish parcel – it’s shape left no doubt that it was a vibro-sword.

Sibock hugged Ai and handed her the gift. “Happy birthday!”

“Wow, that’s great dad!” She quickly ripped the parcel open and pulled a sword with a beautiful crafted hilt out of it. Ai expertly spun the sword with her wrist. “Sweet!”

She tried a few stances with it before putting it back into the parcel.

Vette gave her a squeeze. “Happy birthday, honey!” Then she handed her a carefully gift-wrapped box.

Ai unpacked it eagerly; it contained a twi’lek headband made from dark leather and a pendant with a red crystal on it.

“It’s tradition for mothers on Ryloth to give the children a self-made headband made from the hide from an animal she has killed herself. And the pendant is the Star of Kala'unn, it’s something I uh acquired once and it’s supposed to bring luck to its wearer.”

“You made the headband yourself?” asked Ai and beamed at Vette. “What kind of animal was it?”

“A Yozusk, and let me tell you – your old mom still knows how to use her blasters!” Vette smugly said. “Sewing the headband was much harder than shooting the beast.”

“I guess I inherited my crappy craftsmanship from you then?” quipped Ai and put the headband on.

“Probably, but at least you got also my good looks.”

“Thanks mom, for the gifts and the looks!”

Quinn smiled when he listened to the exchange. Finally Ai turned her attention to Quinn, smiling at him. Quinn gave her a small brown parcel and watched how Ai quickly unpacked it.

“A relic! Is it…”

“Yes, it’s from the Tulak Hord era. The curator of the Imperial Heritage museum assured me that it’s authentic.”

Ai jumped up and hugged Quinn with all her might. “Thank you!” She quickly let him go and took a closer look of the small blackish relic.

Vette stepped closer to look at it too. “If you weren’t force sensitive, you would be the perfect match for the Imperial Reclamation Service.”

“I guess I can still study Sith artefacts,” replied Ai.

“That depends on who is taking you as apprentice,” said Sibock in a serious voice.

Ai’s mood was immediately dimmed. “Yeah… I guess.”

“You are now 13 years old, Ai,” continued Sibock. “You are not a kid anymore – and in a couple of years you will leave for Korriban and there is still much you need to learn. We will start tomorrow with the new lessons.”

Quinn and Vette glared at Sibock.

“Your timing sucks,” hissed Vette.

“It’s still Ai’s birthday…” added Quinn reproachfully.

“I’m just being honest,” replied Sibock.

Quinn wanted to say something, anything to make Ai feel better – but he couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t had been untruthful. He remained silent.

Ai played around with the Sith relic and sighed. “I know.”

 

 

The next day Sibock called Vette and Quinn into the training room. Ai was also present.

“Vette, Quinn – we’ve spoken about this some time ago and I think it’s time for Ai to learn about trust.”

Quinn’s breath faltered, and he felt slightly nauseous. He clasped his hands behind his back lest nobody would see that his hands begun to shake. He knew what Sibock was about to do, he would teach Ai that nobody was to be trusted – it was the very thing he had feared for the past ten years.

“Ai, I’m going to tell you three things about all of us and it’s up to you to decide whether they are true or not,” said Sibock in a firm voice. “Two are true, one isn’t.”

Ai looked hesitant, it was clear to Quinn that she was worried about what was to come. “Okay.”

Sibock paced back and forth. “As you know your mother was my slave, I used to force her into submission with a shock collar. Vette was once a hired assassin. I force-choked Malavai. Which one of these claims isn’t true?”

Ai looked from Vette to Quinn and finally to Sibock, she was kneading her hands together. “The first one isn’t true… But why…”

“Good,” interjected Sibock. “You can ask questions later. Let’s continue: I killed a group of force-sensitive children who were to become Jedi. Malavai tried to kill me. Vette planted explosives in a republic base regardless of the civilians that were inside.”

Ai said silently: “The second isn’t true.”

Quinn felt now positively sick and did his best to look impassive, he could explain later… Ai would understand. She had to.

“Wrong, the first one was a lie.” Sibock now stopped his pacing and stepped in front of Ai. “Malavai was a xenophobe who used to be ashamed to be seen with you. Vette thought about abortion when she learned that she was pregnant with you. I was disappointed when it turned out that you were a girl and not a boy.”

“None of them are true!” yelled Ai clenching her hands to fists.

Sibock leaned down to her. “All of them are true. You thought that you knew us, but you don’t. Familiarity and trust are illusions for Sith.” He stepped closer. “You’re angry, aren’t you?”

Ai looked uncomfortable and tried to push Sibock away with her hands, but he didn’t budge.

Quinn had to pull himself together to stay silent, Sibock was right – it had to be done. For Ai.

“Always remember this – let its bitterness flow through you, channel it and focus on it. Through passion you gain strength!” Sibock hissed.

Ai began crying and tried to push Sibock away once again.

“You’re weak. I could kill you all and you could do nothing to stop me because you lack passion, you lack hate, you lack everything!” yelled Sibock and raised his hands in the air and clenched them to fists.

Quinn felt suddenly a grip around his throat and one moment later he and Vette were lifted from their feet dangling helplessly in mid-air, gasping for air.

“Now you see that a true Sith is capable off!”

“Let them go!” sobbed Ai.

“Make me!” shouted Sibock.

Before Quinn’s eyes black spots began to dance. Lack of oxygen… he thought as he slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

The next thing he felt was a mighty push and how he was hurled through the room. Finally he fell on the floor and sucked in air before getting shakily up on his feet. He glanced at Vette who was coughing beside him and then he saw that Sibock was laying on his back as well, Ai stood above him breathing heavily, tears running down her cheeks.

Sibock slowly got up and smiled at Ai. “Well done! The force push was quite powerful.”

She glanced at Quinn and Vette, turned around and ran out of the training room. Sibock approached Vette and helped her to stand up.

“What the fuck?” said Vette with a coarse voice and rubbed her throat. “You could’ve warned us!”

“I’m sorry, my love, but my intention was to push Ai as far as possible and if I had told you my plan your emotion may hadn’t been as authentic as they have been. But I was really careful not to crush your windpipe.”

“Asshole!” snapped Vette.

Quinn massaged his throat carefully and said in a quiet voice. “We should check on Ai.”

“Give her space,” suggested Sibock. “She will calm down on her own.”

“I disagree,” replied Quinn hotly and strode out of the room.

When he stood in front of Ai’s room and stared at the closed door he hesitated before he knocked… what if she demanded to know about his actions and his old opinions? What if she didn’t forgive him?

Before he could make his mind up to actually knock the door slid open; Ai stood in front of him, she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

“I can sense you presence, you know. Even without about all these emotions rampaging through you.”

“I… wasn’t aware that you could do that.” Quinn said lamely. Why hadn’t she told him that she was able to trace him?

“Of course I can.” She crossed her arms. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to check up on you.”

Ai went back into her room and Quinn followed her. She stopped in front of her bed and turned to face him.

“Is it really true?”

Quinn buried his face shortly in his hands, took a deep breath and said: “Yes, it is. All of it.”

“Tell me about it.” It wasn’t a question, it was an order.

“When I joined Sibock I was secretly working for his master, Darth Baras. When Baras ordered me to assassinate Sibock I followed the order – I knew of course that it was nay impossible for me to succeed. And I also knew that Baras was wrong, but it wasn’t my place to question my Sith superior. So I set a trap with war droids, I failed and Sibock almost chocked me to death.” Quinn shuddered at the memory of his betrayal. “But he changed his mind and allowed me to live under the condition that I swore my loyalty to him.”

“And are you really ashamed of me?” Ai tried to ask with the same authority as before, but she didn’t quite manage.

Quinn felt an iron grip around his chest and he had to fight the urge to take her into his arms; no he hadn’t the right, not after what she had heard.

“Of course not! I’m very proud of you – but Sibock was right: I was a xenophobe who used to despise aliens… that’s why Vette never really trusted me. But I changed.”

“So you were never ashamed of being seen with me in public?” inquired Ai.

Quinn froze shortly. Then he slowly began to talk. “There was one occasion when I was worried about my reputation…”

Ai looked so hurt that Quinn’s heart began to ache.

“… but it was also the moment when I realised how wrong I had been with my xenophobism,” he quickly continued.

“I don’t believe you. All these years… You always told me not to call you ‘dad’ or ‘father’. And when you spoke with the parents of my friends you always insisted that you weren’t my parent. I thought nothing of it, but now it makes sense… you were ashamed.”

Quinn felt a lump in his throat. “Please, Ai, you have to believe me… it wasn’t about that. I just didn’t want to usurp your parents place, it wouldn’t have been right. You… you can check my weekly reports I wrote to your parents. You will see how I changed, and that I really care about you.”

Ai’s eyes began to glow. “There is no need for me to check the reports. I can just look into you mind – Dad showed me how to do it.”

Her eyes changed from brown to orange and Quinn felt a strong pressure on the back of his head. It felt strange and the metallic taste of blood appeared in his mouth. The pain seeped through his head.

“Ai… please don’t…,” he tried to say, but he couldn’t move. Not one syllable left his mouth. Memories were yanked out of his mind and played like a holofilm in front of his eyes. Ai in school, Ai in the kindergarten, Ai eating her fruit salad… The pain in his head grew and suddenly everything turned black.


	9. The FEELS III

When Quinn regained consciousness the first thing he realised was that he was lying in a white room; was he in a hospital? Slowly his memories returned. Yes, Ai had tried to read his mind and then… He must’ve passed out. Quinn dimly registered that there were several tubes inserted in him. He carefully sat up and grabbed his holocomm device that lay conveniently on the bedside table and checked the time and the date. It seemed that he had been in the hospital for about a week. Just as he was about to ring for the med droid the door to his room opened and Vette and Ai stepped in.

“Mal! You’re awake!” Vette rushed over to him and hugged him. Quinn slowly returned the hug, he felt dizzy.

Vette let go of him and Quinn looked at Ai, she was still standing next to the door and bit her lower lip. Her eyes were brown again. “Hi,” she said shyly.

“Hi,” replied Quinn. He wasn’t sure how to interpret Ai’s behaviour – was she still mad at him? At least she was visiting him, it had to be a good sign…

“I talked with the med droid a few days ago, you don’t have to worry. Everything is alright in your noggin,” said Vette. “How do you feel?”

“A little vertiginous and thirsty,” Quinn mumbled and rubbed his temple.

Vette poured a glass of water and handed it to him. Quinn took a gulp and felt immediately better.

“Thank you. Am I allowed to leave the hospital?”

“I guess so, but I’ll call the med droid to be sure,” replied Vette. She rang and after a few moments the droid appeared.

 

“You readings indicate that you can go home, Agent Quinn,” said the med droid after a few quick scans. “I’ll arrange your discharge.”

Vette and Ai waited outside while Quinn got dressed, after signing his release papers they headed for the taxi station and flew home.

Quinn had of course registered that Ai hadn’t said a word since her greeting. He assumed that she was still upset about him.

“Sibock has gone to a meeting with the Dark Council, but he will back in a couple of hours,” Vette remarked as soon as the stepped into the apartment.

“Thank you, I think I will lay down for a moment,” said Quinn quietly. He had planned to read up on intelligence activities, but on the short trip home he had gotten sick again.

“Alright,” replied Vette. “Take it easy.”

 

Just as Quinn was about to lay down in his bed he heard a soft knock on his door.

“Come in,” he said loudly.

A moment later Ai stepped into the room, she held a steaming cup of tea in her hands.

“Uh… do you want tea?” she timidly asked.

Quinn wasn’t in the mood for it, but he didn’t want to turn her down. “Yes please.”

Ai put the cup on bedside cabinet and took care to put it on a doily. Then she took a step back and nervously brushed her lekkus.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“Ai… you…”

 “I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Ai finally blurted out. “I didn’t know that non-force-sensitives are more sensible…”

Quinn took a deep breath and shook his head. “It’s alright, it’s your prerogative…”

“Don’t say that.” Ai kneaded her hands together. “It’s not my prerogative to invade other people’s minds, I was just… confused. And all I got were bits and pieces.”

“Oh,” was all Quinn could say.

“I’m sorry that I tried… I was scared when you collapsed on the floor, and when the med droids took you into the hospital I thought that…” Ai blinked at few times. “I started to read your reports and watched some holovids… It was strange, you were different at the beginning. But you really changed, didn’t you?”

Quinn smiled despite the headache, a heavy weight fell off his chest. “Then you forgive me?”

Ai stared at him disbelievingly. “Shouldn’t you be the one to forgive me?”

He made an effort to sit up straighter than before. “Of course not, my little Sith. I’m just glad that you don’t think less of me.”

Ai sat down next to Quinn and put her head on his shoulder. “I promise I will never do anything like that to you ever again.”

He put his arm around her and squeezed her lightly.

 

 

Time passed and the day came when Ai was about to leave for Korriban, it was shortly after her sixteenth birthday. Sibock, Vette and Quinn seemed to be more nervous than Ai, they constantly asked her if she had thought about taking this item or that item with her.

Quinn caught himself asking about the same things twice, the prospect that Ai would literally disappear for three years into the Sith Academy where the acolytes weren’t allowed contact to their families disquieted him more that he had thought.

Finally they all gathered in front of the lift out of the apartment to say good-bye to Ai, she had only a middle-sized duffle bag with her – more baggage wasn’t allowed.

“I know you will prevail,” said Sibock. “Trust in your own strength.”

Vette had tears in her eyes as she kissed her good-bye. “I love you, Ai.”

“Don’t worry, mom, I’ve got your pendant with me – what could go wrong?” Ai smiled and bent down to hug her mother since she was taller than Vette.

Now it was Quinn’s turn, he gave her a data pad and cleared his throat and said in his most professional voice: “I compiled all my knowledge as combat medic on the weak spots of the physiology of humans and aliens on this pad; I added schematics. Your father told me once that a force-user can sense the internal workings of a body. If the internal carotid artery for example is interrupted abruptly for about one second the subject loses consciousness. Another example is the hyoid, all that is required is a pressure about three to four kilograms until it breaks and the subject will asphyxiate if not stabilized immediately. This could be especially efficient when…”

Ai pulled him into a hug and Quinn fell silent. “I will miss you, Malavai.”

Quinn gulped. “I will miss you too, my little Sith.”

She shoved the data pad into her bag. “And thank you for your tips, I’m certain that they will come in handy.”

Ai threw her duffle bag over her shoulder and pressed the lift button. She waved when the lift doors closed and in matter of moments she was gone.

Sibock and Vette quietly left, Quinn stood a few moments longer in front of the lift until he returned into his room and tried to work. After a few attempts to read reports he gave up and watched a couple of old holovids of Ai.

 

 

On the same day, exactly three years later the newly appointed apprentices of Ai’s age group were supposed to return to Dromund Kaas according to Sith tradition. As Quinn left the citadel after work he took the route via the spaceport – he was antsy, perhaps he would see Ai returning? Sibock had assured him and Vette that he felt that Ai was alive and well, but Quinn wanted to see her with his own eyes as soon as possible.

Just when he was walking into the spaceport a group of Sith crossed his path. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a tall blue-skinned twi’lek woman in a metal armour with red cloth crafted into it. Quinn began to beam, it was Ai! She looked as powerful and majestic as a full-grown Sith Lord. He felt joy, pride and love and took several steps towards her. In this moment she turned her head and looked at him with her golden eyes.

Quinn drew breath to greet her, but before he could say anything she simply averted her gaze and turned her attention to a smaller Sith pure-blood who was talking to her. Quinn stopped dead in his tracks and felt as if the floor had been pulled out from under his feet. At first he couldn’t move but then he stumbled to a bench near him and let himself fall on it. Ai had seen him, there was no doubt – and he hadn’t changed apart from his slightly greying hair. Quinn tried to control his erratic breathing. She had decided to ignore him…

It seemed that she had understood what he had told her years ago: She was a Sith and imperial personnel was beneath her, wasn’t worth her attention. He should be proud, he told himself – if she had learned this lesson then she would’ve learned the other lessons as well and would go far in the Empire. Quinn watched how the apprentices vanished out of his sight. Ai had become what she was meant to be. But why did it hurt so much?

After several minutes he slowly got up and took the tram to his apartment in the outskirts of Kaas City.

Quinn had moved out of Sibock’s and Vette’s apartment a few weeks after Ai had left – they had assured him that he was still welcome, but Quinn felt that he had to move on. It was their home, and once Ai wasn’t there anymore he saw no reason to tax their hospitality any further.

 

Once he arrived in his flat he slowly hung his coat up. He took a brush from a small cabinet and began to clean the coat. It was already in perfect condition, but he still brushed it almost angrily.

He couldn’t help picturing how Ai returned home. Sibock would pretend that he wasn’t crying tears of joy and would ask about Ai’s trials on Korriban and her new master. Vette would beam at her daughter and hug her every ten minutes. Quinn took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He stared at the brush in his hand. Perhaps he should’ve stayed in the penthouse? Then he could’ve at least hear Ai tell her parents what had happened on Korriban.

Quinn put the brush back in the cupboard and grabbed the shoe cream. He sat down on the bench next to the wardrobe and pulled his boots from his feet. Perhaps he could call Vette later and ask about Ai’s new master?

Quinn took one of his boots and applied shoe cream on it, he started to rub it with a rag. Had Ai used his notes about the weak point of human and alien bodies? Vette would know; he just had to make sure that he didn’t sound too eager and desperate. Just a few questions… perhaps he could visit Vette and Sibock and see Ai. Even if she was ignoring him he still could see her again – make sure that she was well.

He picked up the other boot began to polish it as well. Or should he wait? Was he intruding by calling Vette so soon? Quinn recalled Ai’s golden eyes and the way she had averted her gaze and stopped polishing. He carelessly finished his task and strode into his office. Quickly he pulled his files about Ai out and stared at them without reading a report or watching a holovid.

 

 

Suddenly the door bell rang. Quinn glanced wearily at his chronometer, it was probably a delivery droid of some sort. He walked to the door while running his hand through his hair. But it wasn’t a delivery droid – it was Ai who stood in front of him. She was still wearing her Sith armour and eradicated power and authority. Quinn’s heart leaped up to his throat.

“A… my Lord,” he quickly corrected himself. Quinn had to fight back a smile and his urge to immediately pull her into an embrace. No, she was a Sith, he had to behave accordingly. “You honour me with your presence.”

“Don’t you want to ask me in?” Ai’s voice sounded a little deeper than he remembered.

“Yes, of course. Please.” Quinn stepped back and allowed her into his apartment.

As soon as the door was closed Ai rushed to Quinn and pulled him into her arms. Quinn was taken aback, but he quickly returned the hug.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ignore you at the spaceport, but I had to keep up appearances with the other apprentices. And I honestly thought that I would see you at home.”

“My lord I…”

“Please don’t call me that.” Ai loosened her grip on him and looked him straight in the eye. “Not when we’re in private.” Then she beamed at him. “I really missed you!”

Quinn let her words sink in and had to blink tears away. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that.”

Ai smiled and put her hand on his chest. “I do, I can sense it… dad.”

The last word rang through the air while they looked at each other. Quinn pulled her into another hug and for the first time he didn’t correct her.


End file.
